facebook friends

I have decided to stop posting my blogs as "notes" on FB.  It felt a little too in your face.  Instead I will use my status to "shamelessly promote"  (thanks Matt) my blog when I have updated it.  This way people can check it out if they like or go "there's that weird girl who always posts her blog links as her status" and choose not to go there.

If you did choose to read today... Enjoy and thx for checking it out!

All Things Awesomeness

air

water 

food 

music

These are my basic physical needs in life.  I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said I would put music above the first three IF the first three weren't required to live.  I heart music.  I totally heart music and really always have.  It is always playing in my home, always playing where I work and always playing in my car, not to mention in my head.

And because music is all things awesomeness to me, in my estimation the iPod is the greatest invention EVER.  What did we do without it???

I'll tell you...

My first exposure to music came in the form of 8 Track tapes.  Large, cumbersome 8 track tapes.  I must agree with my friend who once said if you wanted to carry your 8 track collection around with you, you had to rent a small UHaul trailer and hitch it to the back of your Cutlass Supreme.  So true, so sad.  I remember the glove box of my mom's car totally maxed out by three, seriously three 8 tracks (one of which was always Dion Warwick).

Then along came cassette tapes.  A bit smaller and a bit handier.  Yet to tote your collection around required the use of a Deal or No Deal briefcase.  Downside of cassettes...the whole rewinding process.  I would invariably fall in love with a certain song and spent 65% of my "listening time" actually pressing rewind and attempting to guess when in the heck to press stop so I could listen to my fav song again (and again).

Finally CD's came on the scene.  My dad had a fancy player where you could load several CDs at a time and play them on shuffle.  I was AMAZED at it and loved to listen to it despite the fact that dad only played Yanni (ick!).  Then and (now really) I carried CD's around almost reverentially, terrified of scratching them.  I would put my index finger in the center hole and carry them ever so gingerly (feeling oddly like a Harlem Globetrotter).  

And now we are in the age of the iPod and downloads and I am like a kid in a candy store.  I did a not so hostile takeover of my husband's Nano and it (like my Macbook) is almost like another one of my children.  So now in all my musical bliss, I have to wonder...what will come along in another 5 or 10 years that will make us all scoff at the size and inconvenience of the iPod???

perish the thought!

I Do Believe...

I've noticed a lot of "quizzes" going around Facebook...Which TV mom would you be?  Which color are you? even Which character of the Bible are you most like?

I don't need a quiz to tell me the answer to last one.  I have always known and continue to know which Bible character resonates with me.  He's found in Mark 9, and he doesn't even have a name; he's just called the boy's father.  And his son was possessed by an evil spirit for years that caused the boy to be mute and to suffer from dangerous convulsions.  The father had asked Jesus's disciples to cast out the spirit and they hadn't been successful in doing so.  Then the man who is weary and likely at the end of his rope, desperate and hopeless after years of seeing his little boy suffer to no avail, gets an audience with Jesus Himself.  

 

the boy's father:  (to Jesus) But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us out.

Jesus: "If you can?  Everything is possible for him who believes."

the boy's father:  "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief."  Then Jesus casts out the spirit and the boy is healed.

I love this snippet of Christ's earthly ministry for so many reasons, but primarily because I SO get where the boy's father was coming from.  He approached Jesus because he hoped against hope that Jesus might be able to help his boy.  There's not a whole lot of descriptive narrative in the passage, but I would guess this man came to Jesus that day with a heart that had been broken and disappointed a hundred times.  Surely he'd been searching for a healing or a cure for his child from the moment the affliction hit, coming up empty handed every time.  Makes me wonder what was going through his mind as he approached Jesus (especially after the disciples had tried and failed to heal his boy).  Perhaps it was something like this, "I really want to believe this Jesus might finally be our answer, but I am terrified to get my hopes up again."  So instead of approaching Jesus with complete confidence, he likely came off optimistic but very cautiously so---but if you CAN do anything...  

And that's what I love---that the boy's father came authentically, even if that meant his doubt was apparent.  He even admitted to as much with his words, which are so poignant and beautiful to my ears, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief."

The truth is Jesus didn't NEED to hear this man's words to know this man's heart.  And likewise, He doesn't NEED to hear my words to know my heart.  But I have to believe that He loves when I choose to say them anyway and when I choose to come to him in a reckless authenticity...even when what I offer him is not tied up neatly with a bow--- perhaps especially then. 

I too, just like the boy's father, have my share of hurts and disappointments, some that have been hurting me for years, and when I bring them to God I probably look a lot like this man...hopeful, but scared to hope too much.  But what I know from experience and what Scripture tells me, is that it's okay.  God is big enough to handle any doubts, and big enough to be the hope that I, in and of myself, simply can't muster.  He's up to the task of helping me with my unbelief, of gently teaching me how to believe outside of my box and of loving me ruthlessly along the way just as I am.

My Latest Song Crush

I am in love with the song, "Take Me As I Am" by FM Static.   So I pulled up iTunes which is conveniently "ready" with my billing info. so purchasing is literally one click away...iTunes: are you sure you want to purchase_______?  me: heck yes!  click.  99 cents later I am the happiest girl on the planet...usually.  Not the case this time.  You can imagine my angst when I couldn't find the song.  Then I frantically pull up Air One's website to find out I have to wait until April 7th for the album release.  So not fair.  

But I did find a youtube video where you can hear my song crush (for this week anyway.)  Enjoy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qdHS_2Oy0s

It's All in the Words

I think I may be the slightest bit hipper today.  Recently I learned some new jargon  from a couple of really adorable, very "now" college girls.  (er, perhaps my use of the word "jargon" just nullified the whole hip thing?  I could change over to "lingo," but that's simply a lateral move...)

new jargon #1:  Creeping  Apparently when you check out a person's Wall, Profile, and pics etc. on Facebook, you are creeping.  I guess that makes me very creepy, b/c I love doing that.  If we're being honest here, who doesn't???  

My take...Creeping is just a new innocuous word for voyeurism.

new jargon #2:  Facebook Official  When a couple is spending time together they are just dating.  But when the couple changes their statuses to "in a relationship with_________," the couple is DATING and it is then "Facebook Official."  Conversely, if a couple breaks up, their new found singleness can too become Facebook Official.  

My take...This is really just the new cyber-version of the days' past D.T.R. (Define The Relationship).

new jargon #3: Blog Stalker  This is a lot like "creeping" really, but it's when you follow someone's blog somewhat anonymously, such that the blogger isn't aware you are their stalker. (by the way, I too am a proud blog stalker). When told by one of these aforementioned adorable college girls that she blog stalks me, I was totally flattered and may have blushed a little.  

My take:  this is the one and only circumstance in which I welcome stalkers and believe that the more the merrier.

So there.  Doesn't my new verbiage make me cool?  Or is it dope?  or maybe fly?  

My take: maybe I should just shut up now...

  

Into and Not At

I got to attend an awards ceremony at my child's school today and it was quite touching.  Every child chosen for the particular award was accompanied by the teacher who nominated them and their teacher proceeded to give a short speech on why she had chosen this particular student.  Phrases like: Strong, silent type;  Empathetic; Ever my helper; Sensitive to other students in need;  filled the air this morning.  And while all the descriptions of the children there were beautiful, what resonated with me was a common thread in each teacher-child relationship... It was totally evident that each teacher had gotten to know their student and had come to a point at some time in the year where they saw, REALLY saw that child.  They took time to dig a bit deeper and chose to look into the child rather than just at them.  And in doing so discovered something special.  

It was a good reminder for me and a timely one at that, but not for the most obvious of reasons.  In this circumstance I found myself relating to the students and not the teachers.  This is because as a child of God it is so vital for me to key into the truth that my Father, just like that room full of teachers, first of all picked me, and chooses to look into to me and not just at me.  And while its hard for me to fathom, He too finds something special there.  

The best thing about me, hands down, is that I am clothed with Christ (Gal. 3:27), fully forgiven and redeemed.  I know this and cling to this ferociously, and I know that when God looks upon me He sees the righteousness of Jesus.  But I have to believe that God enjoys some of the other things He sees when He looks beneath the surface of me, someone who He personally knit together in my mother's womb (Psalm 139:13).  Perhaps He enjoys my quirks: my obnoxious belly laugh, my penchant for decopaging everything I can get my hands one, my ability to cry when something deep or emotional is within a 5 mile radius of me, and my ravenous love of words...

And perhaps He'd even be proud to stand in a room full of people and tell them what He sees when He looks at me.

Where Are You John Hughes?

I came across an article about Molly Ringwald and how she's "back," and at the bottom of the article was a little side box about the writer/director of many of her movies in the 80's, John Hughes...otherwise known as the "author of my adolescence."  Well not really, but his movies had A LOT to do with my worldview, not to mention daydreams (can I admit that I waited for my own personal Jake Ryan for several years, and I finally got him at the age of 25?), at the time. 

Who can forget, "Happy Birthday, Samantha."  or  "Bueller, Bueller?" or Watts with her drum sticks ever in her back pocket, or Duckie lip synching Otis Redding's "Try a Little Tenderness" in the record store, or Judd Nelson's rebellious perfection as John Bender?  Oh I could go on.  Probably all night.  Because I CANNOT think of being a teenager without also thinking of (at least subconsciously) these line, scenes, characters and images.

John Hughes films were funny, had beautiful young actors in them brimming with raw talent, and had impeccable story lines WE ALL could connect with.  And I think that's why I loved his movies so.  I WAS Andi in Pretty in Pink.  I WAS Samantha in Sixteen Candles.  Ferris WAS a guy I knew in my school and "a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal" were all kids I passed in the halls everyday.

I can boldly say the teenage movies made today pale in comparison to the true master of the genre.  Thank you, John Hughes, for putting words and iconic images to the turbulent life stage called adolescence and the crazy experience known as growing up.  It wouldn't have been half as fun without you...

I Heart West Side Story

"Vanity Fair and photographer Mark Seliger re-created scenes from the 1961 film version of the West Side Story to celebrate the first Broadway revival in more than four decades of the Tony Award-winning musical.  Some celebs featured in the fun photo shoot are Camilla Belle, Jay Hernandez, Robert Pattinson, Brittany Snow, Ashley Tisdale, Minka Kelly, Ben Barnes, Jennifer Lopez."  (got this from an internet article)

When I saw the movie "West Side Story" as a young teenager, I was literally blown away.  The story, the music, the visual impact, and Natalie Wood (sigh). I watched my rented VHS copy (ouch...I just dated myself) of it over and over one weekend, and got lost in a semi-melancholic introspective zone (otherwise know as my happy place).  

Came across this picture and LOVE it.  I think it really captures the feel of the movie, and I love seeing some up and coming stars that I'll admit I like (namely Minka Kelly, R-Pats and Jay Hernandez) looking 1950's smooooth.  It's just fun and it has inspired me to rent WSS---hopefully on DVD this time---and get lost for a little while. 

Cisco is an Extrovert or a Member of PETA

My son's turtle Cisco (A.K.A. Two Bills) is a red eared snapper.  He spends most of his time underwater and avoiding our gaze.  One time we got him out of his "habitat" and put him on the carpet only to realize that what they say about turtles CLEARLY isn't true of all turtles.  Let's just say there was a lot of screaming and my husband had to really run to catch the thing! 

Cisco eats pellets we bought at the pet center, but everyone once in awhile we'll give him a bug or a moth, etc. which he devours the way I do yogurt covered pretzels.  A month ago my husband went and got Cisco a very special treat...some live fish.  We thought Cisco would gorge himself and be so happy he might actually make eye contact with one of us...

NOT SO MUCH.  Apprently Cisco would rather cohabit-ate with the fish than have them for lunch!?!  We'll never know the truth behind the hunger strike, but I have two theories...Is our turtle really an extrovert who craves the company of anyone but us?  Or is he a card carrying PETA member?  

Girly Girl Moment #2

When I was a little girl I was always told I had rosy cheeks.  Now I still have them, but in addition to my cheeks, I have "rosiness" everywhere on my face.  I believe now it would appropriately be called age spots, hormonal changes, acne scars or plain flat RUDDY. blech.  

I am constantly on a quest to create a "faux" even complexion and on this this quest I have come across a new product from Clinique, Redness Solutions Instant Relief Mineral Powder.  It is a bright yellow powder, but does not stay yellow on the face, that tones down the redness.  It's not a miracle worker, but I do think it makes a difference.  (This makes sense to me, because the way to counteract redness is to use tones of green or yellow.  In fact, some foundation primers designed to cut out the red are bright green).

This product is expensive at first glance, but it seriously comes in a vat that I can't imagine ever getting to the bottom of, so I think it's worth the money.

Saying Goodbye

I have been "off" diet Coke for going on two weeks.  It has been quite a difficult endeavor because I was addicted to it...I love the taste of it; the feel of it going down; and the sound of the can opening and the forthcoming fizzzzzz that followed...  

In my quest to quit D to the C, I have learned two things.  First, diet coke was my homeboy and has been for at least twenty years.  I still crave one (or two or three) everyday, and I must admit old habits die hard.  The second thing I have learned is that a girl cannot live on diet beverages alone.  I was trying to satiate a physiological thirst with something that was never made to hydrate the body.  This might explain why my day looked like this...

Thirst hits.  Crack open a can or pull into a Sonic.  Drink.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat...

I'm still not a "water drinker extraordinaire" but I do take in enough now to realize what it feels like to quench my thirst with the right stuff, and how far off the mark I was when attempting to quench it with a diuretic of all things (isn't it ironic?). 

As I consider what it means to quench my thirst with the right stuff, I wonder in what other areas of my life I am attempting to satisfy a legitimate need with something that was never meant to meet that need???  Wonder how many times I have gone shopping to derail stress, when the entire time I knew I needed to be still in His Word?  When I have I used television, movies or media for "medicinal purposes," hoping to escape my reality, rather than facing it contemplatively and purposefully.  What about the times I have eaten more food than I should, or not enough at all to soothe some inner turmoil, when I could've chosen to talk it out or better yet, pray it out?   Or when have I opted for "stepped in deeper puddles" relationships, so I don't have to take risks in authentic ones where people might see the real me, or challenge me in some uncomfortable way? 

 

It is tempting to fulfill my needs with things or habits that were never meant to meet those needs in the first place.  Essentially it's choosing to go down the quick and easy road.  But I've learned in my relatively short life, that most often the quick and easy road dead ends and you have to back track anyway, or it just takes you in circles--getting you nowhere fast.  So you might as well meet the need in the right way the first time around, even if it's a harder path and takes some level of sacrifice.

Hmmm.  Definitely food for thought (or drink for thought as the case may be).  Never would've dreamed I'd learn so much from from my "diet coke detox journey," when all I thought I'd get out of the deal was a headache and grumpiness?  

Actually I shouldn't be surprised... I have a loving God Who takes part in what's real to me and  willingly uses simple things, like saying goodbye to a delicious beverage in a white, red and silver can to teach me what I need to learn and draw me closer to Him.

Spiritual Hall Monitor

I am lucky enough to get to contribute to a blog at my church called Live Oak Roots.  Below was a blog I wrote during our current series "Keeping it Real: A Journey Through the Book of Mark..."

In Mark 2:18-28 the Pharisees were critical of Jesus and his disciples for not appropriately observing Jewish law and custom. First of all they didn’t fast. Then one Sabbath day, Jesus healed someone, and his disciples picked grain (which was technically harvesting)…all seen as unlawful on the Sabbath.

Simply put, the Pharisees who clung to rules and regulations were appalled that “this Jesus” and his band of brothers didn’t. The Pharisees were so bound by the law that they couldn’t see, really see, Jesus…God incarnate…standing right in front of them.

I can look at the way the Pharisees treated Jesus and find it to be unbelievable and ridiculous. But there have been times in my walk with the Lord when I was all but a Pharisee myself, and because of this, I too missed Jesus right in front of me…

When I was a new Christian at age 16 I used to worry incessantly about being a good example. I was aware that those around me knew where I stood when it came to my faith, and that they were watching me as I lived out this faith. My worst fear was that I would do something ungodly and I would “shame the family” (of God, that is). I literally dissected everything I said and did, and the attitude with which I picked myself apart looked a lot like a Pharisee’s. This is because I placed more value on the appearance of things than the very condition of my heart.

Sadly I will admit that as a young believer I also found myself examining other Christian’s lifestyles, and nitpicking what they were and weren’t doing…almost like a self-appointed spiritual hall monitor. Maybe I didn’t verbalize my thoughts in a public venue, but even so, in my critical posture I looked a lot like a Pharisee. Distracted by a list of do’s and don’ts, AGAIN I missed Jesus.

Thankfully, my “Pharisee stage” was short lived, largely because I had mature and loving Christians in my life who helped me work through my hall monitor-ism. And now if I ever drift back in that direction (which I still do sometimes if I’m being honest) I can recognize it pretty easily and prayerfully let God reorient me to where I need to be.

When I consider a Pharisee-like attitude…whether it be in me or in the Pharisee’s themselves, I think the single most dangerous aspect of it, is it’s ability to take our eyes off of the Savior…to distract us from His presence and what He’s trying to do in my life or someone else’s…to inhibit us from recognizing Him when He is right there waiting to be known and adored.

Girly Girl Moment #1

I am a lover of all things makeup.  I think makeup products are fun in the same way my husband thinks golf and xBox are fun.  Or how some women think shopping is fun.  So I have decided to include in my blog a regular feature in which I talk about some of my favorite make-up and girly-girl things...  Hey it's absolutely possible that not one soul will read these posts, but it's still fun to me, so I'm going with it! 

Girly Girl Moment #1

I LOVE Urban Decay Eye Shadow Primer Potion.  Here's why...your shadow really does stay on all day (barring a bout of "ugly crying"...in that case, nothing is gonna keep your makeup on, but in my experience, when "ugly crying" you simply don't care about makeup).  

I have used this product for 2 years and have found that in the long run it saves me money.  It transforms my cheap eyeshadow into a long lasting higher end version.  I've used other primers only to find them cakey and weird.  Primer Potion is smooth and for lack of a better word, it really is potion-esque.

I get mine at Ulta (where sometimes you can find a 2 pack at a better rate), and Sephora.com sells it too.

I Think I Know What Brave Is

I live in house with 2 little boys, thus by nature of what they like to watch and do, I know what courage and bravery look like...Luke Skywalker fighting the dark side; the red ranger morphing into the fiercest version of himself to take on the latest bad guy (usually some low budget model of a giant robot... could go on about this but I won't); or Optimus Prime facing off with Megatron in a battle of good versus evil.  This is what bravery looks like in our home.

In my mind, bravery looks like a young soldier in Iraq, or a person that chooses to fight fires for a living, or something along those lines.

But I found that bravery has a whole other face to it, one that's not in the limelight per say, and it's one I've gotten to witness first hand...

I've watched my dear friend (who is really more like a third sister to me) endure the sharpest of sharp left turns in her life; something that came her way without her permission and completely out of her control.  She faced it with her chin held high, even though she was terrified and hurt beyond comprehension.  She clung to her Bible like it was breath and her knees should have been bruised after all the time she spent on them in prayer.  This is bravery.

I have another friend, who I am lucky enough to also call "boss" who preemptively shaved his head when the chemo began to do its thing to his hair.  He hurts and feels awful most of the time, but the biggest complaint you'll hear from him is that he feels "weird, funky or creepy."  He faced and faces his diagnosis by putting his faith foot forward, and everyday comments on how much God is teaching him in this journey.  This is bravery.

And on a much lighter note, I watched my son Luke, who we lovingly call "caution boy" face a big fear and learn to ride his bike without training wheels.  To this innately prudent child, balancing himself on 2 skinny wheels is an impossible prospect (not to mention a ludicrous one).  But he made a choice to trust his dad, who ran alongside him and promised not to let him crash hard, and he learned to ride that bike.  It was a big deal for this little guy, and to me that too was bravery.

My friends, who I wrote about would read this and look me square in the eyes and claim that they aren't brave.  They would probably say that when it comes down to it they are no different than my son.  That as they face their "bike with no training wheels," they made a choice and continually make a choice to trust their Father to run alongside them and not let them fall.  They would say, "I'm not brave, courageous and anything special, but I have God who is and I'm trusting Him.  If you see courage in me, it's because you're seeing Him in me."

Maybe the bravest thing any of us can do as we face life and the many impossible situations that come our way (and you know they do) is to "cling to Him at a soul level and let His right hand uphold us."  (Psalm 63:8)

OMG The Bachelor

I'll make this quick.  Tonight over the course of 3 hours, we watched Jason send Molly home, choose and propose to Melissa, only to change his mind, break up with Melissa and ask Molly to give him another chance.  It was a rollercoaster of epic proportions and it was so COMPLETELY awkward to watch that I may have physically winced several times.   

All I know is there is a reason only 2 couples in all of Bachelor/Bachelorettedom have made it as a couple.  The premise, while intriguing in the same way a train wreck is, sets it's couples up for failure.  

I personally believe that Brad Womack (the 11th Bachelor ) who was raked over the coals for "pulling a Kelly Taylor" (from the original 90210...Kelly: "I don't choose either of you {Dylan or Brandon}, I choose 

me.") and letting both girls go b/c he couldn't reconcile being in love with 2 people at the same time, was the smartest and sanest one of all.  period.  the end.

With that said, see ya next season...

P.S.  Molly, run for the hills