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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I Could Win the Gold Medal...

It is comical how NOT competitive I am.  I could seriously care less if I lose at Scrabble or a game of basketball in our driveway.  I just simply don't have that edge in me and I don't think I ever have.  Competitive, no.  COMPARATIVE...oh yes.

I can compare with the best of them.  In fact, I could win a gold medal in it if comparing were a sport.   I compare myself to all other mothers, who seem to have magically figured out how to do everything right.  I compare myself to other wives, who I believe have it all together and embody Proverbs 31 with such ease.  I compare myself with others who do my same job at some other church, and I wonder when my church will pick up on what an amateur I am and cut me lose.

Comparison is the wrecking ball to my confidence, joy and contentment. It is probably one of the most damaging things we do to ourselves, and because we do it secretly and privately, I think it is even more caustic.  That which isn't brought into the light of day, seems to gain power and momentum I think.

2 things to ponder about comparison...

1)  As Andy Stanley says, there is no win in comparison.  I either beat myself up OR I degrade another in order to decide I've one up-ed them.  Neither honors God or the other person, and neither is worth my time.

2)   Comparison is so super destructive to our confidence because we, "compare our behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel (Steven Furtick)." Isn't this so true?  I idealize you, and then compare the real, behind-the-scenes me to that.  ...let the wrecking ball fly!

Can comparison lose its power if we simply bring it into the Light, boldly calling it out and showing it for what it is?  Can I break my habit of comparing, by admitting to a friend when I am struggling with it, instead of sitting with it in silence and solitude, letting it grow in ugliness?  Is it worth offering my comparative nature up to a Savior who is not unsympathetic, but actually understands when we struggle? Hebrews 4:15

Yes. Yes. and Yes.