song crush #9

check out this link...  LOVE STORY meets VIVA LA VIDA 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v3d6SFcDys

this guy is an awesome composer/pianist who composed the song in the link (Taylor Swift + Cold Play = awesomeness) for his little girl.  Check out his web site too... http://www.jonschmidt.com

he has a song called "Pachebel meets U2", in which he mixes 

Pachebel's Canon (my personal Pavlov's bell...reduces me to tears by the third note NO MATTER when or where I hear it)  and U2's "With or Without You" (arguably one of the best songs ever made).

fierce

For the past five days I've been at the hospital with my big sister.  She had major surgery.  The kind where they saw open your sternum, fix what needs fixing, and wire you back together.  Thankfully, her repair was textbook, and the big picture looks great.  But on her way to that big picture, she has suffered from some post-op complications that have left

her severely nauseous, dizzy, short of breath and altogether miserable.

As I watch her shift in her bed in discomfort, never complaining, but just desperately hoping to turn that proverbial corner; something stirs in me--grows in me---and finds it's way out.  It's a love that involves every part of me.  A love to which I must assign my hands and feet--because this love requires action.  It's a fierce love...something sisters share from cradle to grave, and it's not something I've ever had to manufacture or muster.

And as I refill her ice chips, try to straighten her pillow, rub her feet, or help her sit up, I know each action is simply an expression of that fierce love.  And though most of what I offer is lame and useless in all practicality, I do it because I love her, and I am resolutely compelled to comfort her in the only ways I know how.

So tonight as I think of my sis, and also of my God, I am thankful for much...

I am thankful that He has given me the capacity to fiercely love, and that I learned all about what this kind of love looks like from the best---the very girl healing in that hospital bed tonight.  

I am thankful to be fiercely loved by two big sisters I adore...who have gone to bat for me my whole life, and who will never stop seeing me as their baby sister---at least I hope not.

And I am thankful that I am loved by the very Author of  life itself, with the most Protective, Passionate, Perfect and Fiercest love of all...

gravy and cherries

"Happiness is not having what you want, it's wanting what you have."

I was thinking about this quote the other day.  If I am allowed, which I think I am, I would tweak it to say...

CONTENTMENT is not having what you want, it's wanting what you have.

Very simple sentiment with huge ramifications.  Case in point.  I adore my old little house with good bones, UNTIL I look at new houses. Or my wardrobe is adequate and some days, even cute, UNTIL I allow myself to browse for too long at a clothing store.  And I am perfectly happy to hang at the casa and enjoy my time there, UNTIL I begin browsing the internet for vacation getaways...

Those are pretty basic, obvious examples, but what if the "whole grass is always greener" trap strikes closer to home and heart?  Suddenly I hate my job because I am idealizing someone else's.  Or I begin to think my marriage is stale and unexciting, in contrast to what I THINK other's relationships are like?  And the list could go on...

Getting wrapped up in MORE, BETTER and DIFFERENT can be a dangerous path, and we are all but a choice away from finding ourselves in the middle of discontent.  And discontent can lead to desperate, futile, and even destructive behaviors.

So here's what I am discovering as I process this whole deal...

Everything I need for life and godliness was given me the moment I asked Him into my life.  Boom.  It's done.  Whether I tap into it or not.  And all the other trappings of life are simply the cherries on top--things Jesus has added to my life because HE loves me, and not because I necessarily need them.

To put it simply...

THE CROSS WAS ENOUGH and WILL ALWAYS BE.  Everything else is just gravy.  

The grass doesn't get any greener than that.

The Insanity of Self

Lately I'm overwhelmed.  It's the "I hate transitions b/c they make me feel like I'm not in control" deal.  It's summer.  I'm working some while my kids hang with an awesome babysitter.  We have baseball every night but two, and I helplessly look at all my family's "discretionary" time, slipping through my fingers.

Heck, it's all good stuff, great stuff even, and I'm not really complaining.  I just feel uneasy, and possibly on the verge of tears here and there.

Here's the kicker though.  When I get like this, I "pull a Paul" (from Romans 7) and do what I don't want to do...which is to (in a very Houdini-esque fashion) turn myself inside out and withdraw into the mind of Mindy.  This can be a very fun place to be, but it can also be short-sighted, melancholy and reclusive.  And as I fold up into myself, I can clearly & fully hear my Savior's gentle but firm insistence. Cling to me.  Come to me and I will give you rest (Matthew 11 :28).  Which is the very thing I need in seasons such as this.   But for some asinine reason, I run from exactly what I need.  Which in turn, causes me to delve into the abyss of self even more!

That cycle, my friends, is the picture of insanity.  And I can be the most insane of all.

But I am grateful that experience has taught me much.  I can see the signs.  I know when I'm approaching that place I need not be.  And usually, I can choose to make a sharp left turn and find my way Home again.  And here's the good thing...when I'm back in His fold, I find peace, clarity, a level-head, and equilibrium; and I never hear what I dread the most, which is , I told you so.  

It's then, in his provision, acceptance and love, that being captive to the dead-end of myself becomes less and less attractive.

  

Things I'm Asking Myself Lately

Am I really loving those around me well; including but not limited to: my hubs, my kids, my friends, my God?

Do I spend more time in virtual relationships (FB, email, texting) than I do face to face and heart to heart?

Am I more acquainted with People Magazine's headline story than I am with His story?

Do I really pray like I should...conversationally, without ceasing, with faith?

Am I simply going through the motions in this life, reduced to just getting by, verses literally sucking the life out of my moments?

Do I live in a posture of gratitude, or am I "glass half-emptying" myself to death?

Just some things that me go hmm?