Friday, October 23, 2009

mad, sad, thankful

So I got to work Thursday morning and made my way over to the O.C. (where I outdoor Office Complex) only to find the front door open and blowing in the wind. Long story short, we'd been robbed. All of our computers, and electronics of value had been taken in the night. And the culprits were even crafty enough to dump out all our trash on the floor and use the empty trash cans as handy carrying devices for all their loot. Ingenious, huh?

As we inspected the building, I instantly became tearful. I was very tearful and became ugly cry girl.

Later the police came to check out the "crime scene," and as we re-inspected everything, I became mad. Completely indignant really. Who robs a church!?! It felt so wrong, and wrong at SO many levels. In my anger I became revenge-y...I wanted to find someone and make them pay dearly.

The natural response to what happened is certainly anger. But I must admit that once I got the mad all out of me, I simply became sad. Not teary (ugly cry) sad anymore, but soul-sad. Sad for what we'd lost, b/c a lot of our ministry was on those hard drives. But even more sad, really, that there are people out there in such a desperate situation that they resort to stealing.

And so far, I've stayed in that sad place, and strangely where I've also landed with the whole ordeal is in a posture of complete gratitude. Gratitude for God's grace, because but for His grace, I know I am but a decision or two away from base, vile behavior myself. Gratitude for his patience, and that when I do veer off, He never fails to rein me back in. And gratitude for a life changing Love that He pours into me daily. A Love so strong I am saved from myself and a Love so complete it has captured my devotion...

I am thankful because I fully know it is only because of my Jesus that I'm not the one cramming stuff in a trash can and making off with it in the night.

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