My oldest son got into bed with me this morning and nestled into the nook of my arm, letting out a big contented sigh. Oh those precious moments of being a mom. But this precious moment also hit me like a load of bricks.
Every once in awhile when I least expect it, something happens in the course of my day and it dawns on me that, "O my gosh I am the parent!" I realize in full living color, if you will, that I am it for this kid and his brother...that I (along with my hubby of course) am these children's source of protection, security, provision, comfort, wisdom...you name it, they look to me for it. And while I sort of knew what I was signing up when I became a parent, the scope of the role is a bit staggering to consider.
In so many ways, I still see myself as the fresh faced 20 year old girl of days past. And I wonder to myself, when did i become mature enough to be anybody's "it????"
Oh, I don't know...Perhaps it was when my smile lines became full fledged crow's feet? Maybe it was when I developed a predilection for mini vans and their many awesome features? Or was it when I began requiring a 10 o'clock bedtime in order to NOT be be total toast the next day?
Regardless of when this maturity hit, I am a parent and I am Luke and Blake's "it." I love the job, though I fear it too. But the good news is, I have an "It" in my Heavenly Father; I'm not flying blind and I'm not alone. And I know He likes it too, when I settle into his arms, and find my place there and sigh contentedly.