taking life one musing at a time...

Birthday Musings

2011-12-03T15:39:00.004-06:00

I turned 38 a couple of weeks ago. Seems like on my past couple of birthdays I have blogged reflections from the past year. So here goes again:

I have a 10 year old. This freaks me out. There is something about that very age that isn't tiny little boy anymore. It's more like almost middle-schooler, burgeoning on teen. The thought of being a mom to a teen freaks me out even more.

When you need a new couch but can't really afford one, buying a few new frames and accessories at Hobby Lobby for 50% off, totally carries you through.

Uggs (or in my case, Airwalk knock offs) are ugly, but can't be beat for comfort and warmth.

Attitude is everything. And attitude is closely tied into perspective.

Food is mostly about smell and taste, yet television has managed to make stellar shows about food, even though you can't smell or taste a thing. Long live Top Chef and Chopped!

God truly is Provider. Since we jumped off the proverbial cliff, my husband and I are living proof if it daily.

My laugh lines are deeper and certainly reveal my age. Somedays I hate them, but everyday, I am thankful I have had a lot of reasons to smile.

One of life's greatest mysteries, at least to me, remains the fact that when Aussies and British people sing, they magically drop their accents???

We adopted a dog, and I instantly turned into one of "those people." I bore people at work with stories about Sophie (as if she were my third human child), and suddenly doggie discipline tips and special treat recipes are of paramount importance.

Pinterest had legitimately made me a better cook, thus validating it's usefulness, even if it is a time suck. Wonder if my other favorite time suck, Facebook, made me a better anything? Seriously doubtful.

In my head I sing like my friend Corie. This is enough for me.

I am so thankful for my hubs. He makes my life easier. He makes my life fun. He makes me feel like the prettiest, most special girl anywhere.

And finally...

I belong to a Redeemer. He redeems everything... from my best efforts to my worst, from my pretty to my ugly, from my winsome to my treacherous. He is in the business of redemption and I have to believe NOTHING is beyond His redemption power. Nothing.

Abiding Woman

2011-11-12T15:47:00.004-06:00

I found this be so inspiring and so true. I am sad that I often fall into the column on the left. I aspire to abide...

Content Copyright 2011 Confessions of a Homeschooler.
Digital Graphic by Royal Daughter Designs

Pinterest-ing

2011-11-05T09:06:00.009-05:00

I finally caved and joined Pinterest (after I requested an invitation to join ~~which was a little weird~~). I figured it would be yet another time suck (i.e. FB) but I went for it anyway. And yes, it is a time suck, but there is a value to it as well. Having been a "member" for about a week, I have already made 3 recipes I found while pinning, and executed a craft project.

The recipe thing is especially helpful to me. As a person that is creative (I refuse to call myself "a Creative"...that bugs), for some reason all vibes of creative energy magically shut down the minute I enter a room containing a stove, oven and pantry. It's almost paralyzing. Cooking is my achilles heel and I welcome all and any help in this area. Enter Pinterest and its array of recipes.

As for the crafty stuff. There is the cutest/most helpful ideas. I just need to be careful to not get wrapped up in so many of those ideas that it translates into ???.

Here's one I did that cost me almost nothing:

I used a cookie sheet I had, placed magnetic strip on my

makeup and you have an instant organizer! P.S. cute bow absolutely NOT necessary. lol

So here's my take on Pinterest. I think besides the obvious fact that is it an amazing way to organize precious gems you find on the Internet...I think it's wild popularity also goes back to the simple fact that we all like to be known. I believe to be known is one of a person's deepest desires and needs, whether we be a super outgoing person, or someone that prefers a lot of alone/down time. I also believe we like to express to others what's on our insides. Some of us use words to do that. Others create visual art. I guess the ways we do that are endless, really. And Pinterest makes that expression quite easy.

So check it out. And if you need an invitation to join, just comment below with your email and I will invite you, and send you one of these ;).

If the concept of Pinterest makes no sense to you, don't worry. We all feel that way in the beginning. Go here to get the complete scoop.

Provision

2011-10-29T18:42:00.002-05:00

So since I last posted, my husband left the marketplace and went into full time ministry. I shared some thoughts about becoming a pastor's wife in August. I am happy to report that I can still claim the same freedom I spoke of in that post. Things have been good, really good. And more than good, the past weeks have been affirming...which is very comforting when your life changes so drastically.

First, I am convinced my hubs was made to do what he is doing. He has always been good--competent--at what he does, but for the first time in our almost 13 year marriage, there is joy there. A spring in his step. A purpose in his gait. As his wife, that is something SO special to see and experience.

Second, our little family has been provided for in ways that can only be explained as supernatural. We knew our lifestyle would be altered with this job change. I was honestly pretty nervous about it ~~and I might have gone a little vigilant and off the charts in terms of preparing for the change.~~ But we have been more than provided for. Our needs are more than met. And as our amazing God, who I believe not only loves us but likes us too, would have it, there are little cherries on top constantly coming our way. Things we absolutely don't need, but that make life sweet. (i.e. gift cards to restaurants just magically and anonymously show up in our mail. Including one to Pei Wei...which is I believe is the 6th love language)

So I find myself tearful a lot lately. They are tears of joy. I am humbled by what we've experienced so far. It's pretty stinking cool to get to know God in a way I really haven't.

So there's an update after my unintentional hiatus. I intend to start blogging more regularly again. Heck, I've never had more to blog about. :)

Song Crush #27

2011-10-29T18:32:00.004-05:00

Hi. It's me and yes I know I have been MIA since August. Life got hectic and my margins simply vanished, which means so did my "blog time." But, I thought I might attempt to tend my little corner of the blog-o-sphere once again.

I am crushing big time on a group called "All Sons and Daughters." The "All" in their title is crucial or else you end up finding an altogether different group. (No offense "other" Sons and Daughters, but you aren't my cup 'o tea)

I am so in love with their music that it was difficult to narrow it down, but alas, I bring you Song Crush #27: "Brokenness Aside" by All Sons and Daughters

"You are a Savior and you take brokenness aside and make it beautiful"

Amen.

Luckily I Won't Be Hyperventilating...

2011-08-14T16:05:00.005-05:00

It was announced today that my precious, amazing husband will be the new Associate Pastor of our church, beginning in September. I could tell you about, what I consider, the miraculous path that led us to this place. I could tell you about Provision that we have already seen that makes our existence in this place possible. I could tell you about how loved and celebrated by our Church family we already feel. I could tell you how cool it will be for Mark to integrate into a staff of people who are certain heroes to us. I could tell you how awesome-sauce it will be for Mark to work under a true man of faith for the next 4 months, and then under his insanely gifted best friend, who will take the reigns as Senior Pastor in January. All of these things could be their own blog posts, and who knows, maybe someday they will be.

But what I want to tell you about is something that is the true to miracle to me. You see, there would have been a day that if you had told me I would be the proverbial Pastor's Wife, I would have hyperventilated and hidden in a cave (because there are so many of those in Lubbock). I would have panicked that I wasn't worthy of the post and that I would surely disappoint, or worse yet embarrass my church somehow. But because of a perfectly timed journey that I have been on for months (and continue to be on) I know that it is exactly okay for me to be me. That my hope is in a Redeemer who is actively creating the very best version of me, and that is simply enough. That I don't have to pretend to be someone I am not. I don't have to act any certain way or appear to be someone who has her stuff together. All that is expected of me, is to be genuine and to be someone who seeks after Love Himself.

And because of this, I face our new life direction with excitement, hope, anticipation...

I am thankful for a God who cares more deeply about me than I could ever fathom and who has more for me than I could ever understand. And I am thankful to be shoulder to shoulder with a group of people who mirror that Love to me and my family everyday.

Let's do this!!!!

What Happens When You Are Too Busy

2011-08-05T09:53:00.004-05:00

I have discovered when you are very busy, you finally take a breath and look up, and lots of things have seemingly just magically happened...

When you've been too busy for your own good, you look up and:

Your child has gone from a youth Medium to a youth Large. Therefore it would seem as he sports his current wardrobe, that he prefers "the midriff top."

Your car has become a POD and no longer has room for people in it.

That chipped toenail polish in no longer just chipped, but now looks like tiny swatches of splatter paint.

You have several "samples" in your home that could be the basis for your child's science fair project.

And speaking of the homefront, you can no longer just dust the furniture. Something along the lines of a chisel is now required.

Your DVR, that you thought had a capacity you would never meet, is at 99% full, thereby inducing panic..."Which shows will it decide to delete first? Should I pull an all-nighter to get caught up???"

and finally you look up and...

Find that somehow fruit snacks now routinely constitutes a fruit/vegetable serving, prompting you to consider dragging your tired self to Market Street. Hmm, how much WOULD a personal shopper cost?

I have no complaints. Life is so fun right now, but we are probably a tad too busy for our own good. So my question is, can anyone relate?

I Hate The Wait

2011-07-09T13:43:00.004-05:00

My last post was May 8th. Ouch. I go through phases of such busyness that this, writing...the thing that fuels me...gets put on the back burner. Wish it weren't true, but alas, reality bites.

We just got back from the trip of a lifetime to Disneyworld. Fun. Amazing. Precious. Crazy. It really was something I will put in my pocket and carry there for the rest of my days.

I adore Disney for so many reasons, but one thing that always astounds me is the complete intentionality with which everything is done. Every detail has been thought through and executed with precision. Even the wait lines for rides (which can be hours long) has been planned and detailed to the most minute component. For example, as you wait to ride Expedition Everest (a rollercoaster that ends with an encounter with the Yeti) you are immersed in a hiking base camp and you wind your way through a real Bigfoot museum. And none of it looks fake. If you suspend disbelief for a few minutes, you ARE in Nepal, about to go for a hike, and you think MAYBE, just MAYBE Sasquatch is real.

And every ride there is just like that. The wait line is 100% a part of the ride. In fact, the wait line makes the ride that much better.

So it was in those very wait lines that God taught me a biggie... You see, I hate waiting in life. I hate those times when you know God is up to something. A change is coming. Relief is on it's way, but you are stuck in wait mode until Jesus moves. My mentor calls these times "Life's Waiting Room." Another author calls it "The Land in Between." Whatever it's called, it stinks. You're waiting for a job. Waiting for a house to sell. Waiting for a diagnosis. Waiting for healing. Waiting for understanding...for something to finally make sense. Waiting for "mister right." Waiting for a child to straighten up. Waiting for the pain to subside. Waiting for closure. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

We've all been there. The Wait can be heart wrenching, and my bent during these times is to shut my eyes and sort of clinch my fists until The Wait is over. I'd just assume be in suspended animation until the culmination of The Wait has arrived. But as my mentor has pointed out, God will teach you things in the midst of The Wait that you simply can't learn anywhere else in life. The during of the Wait is as important as what's at the end of The Wait.

So thank you God and thank you DisneyWorld for the quick and unexpected life tutorial. Next time I am stuck in The Wait, one of life's holding pattern, I will do my best to remember...

The wait makes the rides better.

the guys in "Asia". you can see "Everest" in the background

Shoulder to Shoulder

2011-05-08T14:31:00.003-05:00

Mother's Day is a double edged sword for me.

On one hand I LOVE it, because I am blessed to be a mom to 2 amazing little guys. But on the other hand, even though my own mother has been gone for 24 years, her absence still kicks me in the gut as if it were a fresh loss. I assume it always will, and I guess if I am being honest, I want it too. I don't ever want to forget what she meant to me. I don't ever want to get comfortable with her NOT being around for the things she should be around for.

This Mother's Day, I've gotten to relish my boys' special presents (many home made, which are the best ever right?) and their love, and their big brown and green eyes shining in adoration of me. The day could end right this minute and my cup already runneth over. But God has brought to mind something else that warms my already full heart.

I find myself thinking about my many friends who I mother shoulder to shoulder with. We all couldn't be more different. We have different approaches, different ways of influencing and disciplining. We "keep house" in our own ways and "our leashes" on our kiddos are all varying lengths. But the thing we have in common, the one thing that bonds us without question, is our love for our children. Our understanding that these kids are ours on loan from the Maker. Our grasp of the honor and responsibility we have been bestowed with.

As my friend Lindsay always says, "Having a child is like seeing your heart walk around outside your body." She is exactly right and that is the only way to really say what it feels like. And because we all know that--we get it--there is an extraordinary kinship between us as mothers.

So Happy Mother's Day to you, my friends (and sisters). What you do matters. I am glad we get it together. I love you much!

xoxo

Mindy

Double Dream Feet

2011-04-30T09:35:00.002-05:00

I cannot watch this guy without smiling. Okay, he's a bit dorky for sure, but what I love is that he is 100% sold out to what he's doing. He's "all in" and I love it. I want to be that way. I don't want to care what others think and I want to do what I do with gusto. Props to you double dream feet guy.

Don't miss the video that started it all Double Dream Hands...

Easter Song Crush #1

2011-04-24T10:03:00.000-05:00

Christ is Risen by Matt Maher

This song is for all of us...

I want to be AWAKE as a believer. I want His "present risenness" (thank you Brennan Manning) to get in my face and shake me, wake me from my slumber.

Easter Song Crush #2

2011-04-23T10:01:00.000-05:00

O Lord You're Beautiful by Jesus Culture

This is a remake of Keith Green's original song from forever ago. Jesus Culture totally does it justice!

Easter Song Crush #3

2011-04-22T07:22:00.000-05:00

Love Came Down by Brian Johnson

Easter Song Crush #4

2011-04-21T09:56:00.001-05:00

An oldie, but it doesn't get much better.
Come to Jesus by Chris Rice

Easter Song Crush #5

2011-04-20T09:48:00.000-05:00

O The Blood by Gateway Worship

Easter Song Crush #6

2011-04-19T09:54:00.000-05:00

How He Loves by David Crowder Band

Easter Song Crush #7

2011-04-18T09:50:00.002-05:00

Because God wired me in a such a way that music touches me deeply, I have decided to share songs, this week of Easter, that cause my heart to praise.

Redemption Song by Adie Camp

What Is Your Victory?

2011-04-18T09:26:00.003-05:00

I am in love with a song by Gateway Worship called "O the Blood" (which you will be hearing later this week if you enjoy my Song Crushes). As I was listening to it yesterday, one line, a simple lyric, just about blew me away.

"Oh the Blood, it is my victory."

At face value I would say, yes the Blood is my victory. I know it is. I believe that it is. But I wonder if I live as if it is?

God brought to my mind yesterday the many things that are seemingly my victory...if you were to open the window of my life, of my heart, and take a quick peek.

--having kids that behave

--work accomplishments

--being the mom that can balance it all

--having people approve of me and like me

--a clean orderly house

--appearing to have it all together

and the list goes on...

Do those things, and many more, bring me victory? Do I allow such fleeting things to be the fullness and satisfaction in my life when ONLY the blood of Christ...the work of the Cross, can truly fill that void??? I know what I want my answer to be, yet I can't deny what it often is...

Exactly...

2011-04-13T18:59:00.002-05:00

from "Abba's Child" by Brennan Manning:

What Sets Your Pace?

2011-04-01T07:31:00.005-05:00

Sometimes when I workout, I put my laptop on the treadmill, pull up Hulu.com and catch up on favorite shows I've missed. Just recently, other workouts involve a spin bike and an iPod playlist.

Working out is working out, and it's all good for the body in my opinion. But I have noticed how much harder I work when I let an upbeat playlist...a playlist specifically designed to motivate, set my workout pace. Watching shows definitely keeps me going and even distracts me from thinking about how many minutes are left. Yet, there is an intensity and intentionality missing when "Survivor" or "Parenthood" is the soundtrack to my exercise.

Isn't life a lot the same? I can go for long stretches of time, letting the world around me...messages from media and other people...set my pace. I find myself sort of drifting through each day, marveling that it is over and I didn't even REALLY notice many of the moments. The pace of this world can get you through a day alright, but is it REALLY living? Scariest part...the pace of this world is frighteningly easy to get carried into.

When all along, there is the voice of my Maker, with a perfect cadence, whispering a different rhythm for me to set my life to. His pace is intentional. His pace is purposeful. His pace is ideal. Sometimes quick, sometimes slow, sometimes completely still. But always just right for His child.

My New Blog

2011-03-25T08:38:00.003-05:00

I started another blog. If you like frill and girly stuff it might be right for you. It's just for fun...a way to celebrate all things girl...

I Believe in Pink

Did You Know They Took "Gullible" Out of the Dictionary?

2011-03-25T07:58:00.007-05:00

Yesterday was a day of crushed dreams ~~and humiliation~~. It all started when I saw a link to this picture on the FB newsfeed:

A miniature lap giraffe!

The little girl in me who wanted her own pony, or better yet, a unicorn, came out full steam. I couldn't believe my eyes and I was immediately picturing myself with a little pet giraffe roaming freely in our home and back yard. (Mind you, I hadn't seen the Direct TV ads with the mini-giraffes in them, yet, so this discovery was like pure gold to me.)

So anyway, I then started to browse a web site that claimed to breed and sell these creatures, even boasting a live action giraffe cam. Man, I was totally sucked in at that point. It dominated my thoughts all day, to the point I was obsessing over it at work, drawing my co-workers into the frenzy as well. It wasn't unitl late last night that I realized I might have been had. (ya think?)

screen cap of mini-giraffe breeders web site

Notice in the upper right hand corner, there is a blue triangle that says this: "As seen on American Commercial. Be Clicking to View." (The "breeders" are Russian and the web site is full of endearingly bad English) Nice touch.

So then, in an epiphany moment ~~about 8 hours too late~~ my brain finally

"Be Clicking to Get A Clue."

The "breeders" website was all genius marketing done by Direct TV. All part of getting you to view their ads. ~~I hate you Direct TV for breaking my heart~~.

But seriously. I come away from this with a few thoughts.

#1 I am SOOO gullible. It is super weird, because I am pretty level headed and rational most of the time. I am even quite often the voice of reason. Which leads me to think that maybe there is part in all of us, or at least in me, who wants to throw caution to the wind and cling to little girl dreams and magical ideas.

#2 Someone at Direct TV is uber-creative and smart ~~and diabolical.~~ I always love to imagine the brainstorming pow wows that were the genesis of ad campaigns

-and-

#3 Even if mini-lap giraffes aren't real, I still want one. She can come live with my other pet...

Song Crush #26

2011-03-23T08:13:00.003-05:00

"All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us"

I just have to say, can you hear the cello? *sigh*

There is also a cool acoustic version.

A Song, er, Group Crush Fulfilled

2011-03-15T09:47:00.004-05:00

Last month I shared this with you...my group crush on Green River Ordinance. I adore their music. Love pretty much every song.

Well, I got word that they would be playing a free concert in Fort Worth, to kick off Christ Chapel's ArtReach weekend. The practical side of me was like, "Well shoot, wish we weren't so busy. Wish I hadn't just traveled to Dallas last weekend. It just doesn't make sense to go there again. What will we do with the boys? It's too hard to figure out the logistics... Blah, blah, blah."

But the fact that my favorite band would be so near, playing a FREE concert in a very intimate setting, sort of haunted me. I wrestled with it for a few days and then I finally pulled the trigger in a so not Mindy-esque kind of way.

With the kid's childcare pieced together, Mark and I loaded up in the Impala and took off to Fort Worth for a 24 hour adventure.

Our adventure included an amazing concert. GRO kicks it live! They are skilled musicians, great showmen and their vocal harmonies...*sigh*. Plus, we got to hear the story behind several songs they've written. I love that. It's like reading someone else's mail.

Then we had dinner with beloved friends.

(the obligatory "everyone squeeze in," big face picture)

Finally, we fell into ~~our ridiculously hard~~ hotel bed exhausted (I am pretty sure our mattress was part of the Stonehenge Extension campus) and awoke the next day ready to book it back to the Hub City.

Were we exhausted? Absolutely. Did the cement slab mattress kill our backs (and thus remind us of our age)? Yep.

Do I regret a minute of it? Never!

and just for your enjoyment...

What Makes Sense

2011-03-15T09:22:00.003-05:00

I am often bound to what makes sense. I will do something if it makes sense. I will back away if it doesn't. I suppose there are times when things should make sense...when rational thought and a list of pros and cons should help us make our choices. But it stands to reason that there are times when we should act on faith. Take a leap. Just do it.

It sort of makes me wonder...what have I missed out on for the sake of making sense? Does what God wants me to do always "make sense" in the way that making sense, makes sense to me??? (a cyber high five goes out to anyone who understood that last sentence). After all, His ways are not our ways (from Isaiah 55: "I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work." God's Decree. "For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think.")

I would like to be more willing to jump in to something that presents itself that seems like it might be from God. I would like to be up for the adventure that life is (or is supposed to be.) But I fear I often turn adventure into formula.

I have a friend who is applying to be a missionary thousands of miles away. She will be leaving a secure job to journey into the unknown. Some other friends I know packed up their sweet family of 5 and moved to Nicaragua, because they have a heart for loving on and showing Christ to the people there. I am guessing those choices didn't always make sense, at least in the way that we understand it.

But it's other things too. The day to day. In college, I had a group of friends who took a road trip to Utah to go hiking over Spring Break. What did I chose to do instead? I stayed home and worked on some papers that would come due in my classes because that made more sense. Even yesterday, the hubs took the boys to Carlsbad Caverns while I worked. I would have never done that because it doesn't make sense to squeeze in a trip like that when the boys would have been just as happy at home. (can we say killjoy?)

My husband, my friends...they are on to something.

I want to get there too.

Fully In

2011-02-20T15:38:00.003-06:00

My youngest got hurt today. The whole bending of the finger backward when playing basketball. He was bawling and writhing after it happened, so we hugged, got out an icepack and I sat down with him to "give it some time." He continued to wimper and at one point said, "I hate my life."

Me: "Why do you hate your life?"

Blake: "Because I always get hurt."

Me to myself silently: Yes, yes you do always get hurt.

Me to Blake: "I can tell you why."

Blake: (big green watery eyes meet mine) "Why?"

Me: "Because you put your heart into everything completely. You live hard and fully and that means sometimes you get hurt."

And I proceeded to explain my theory to him in a way he could connect with. And by golly, my words seemed to appease him, at least for the moment. At least until he gets hurt again.

You see, my little guy lives life 100%. Whatever has his attention has it completely. Whatever endeavor is before him, is tackled with intensity and passion. I admire my Blaker so much, because the way I see him living is the way I wish I lived. But I am ever cautious, ever prudent and many times that doesn't translate into full living.

The thing about full living though, is what my son learns often.... Putting yourself fully in can mean bumps and bruises. Putting yourself fully in can mean less containment and control, less "nice and neatness." Putting yourself fully in isn't safe at all.

And I hope, hope, hope that this kind of living that Blake does will be tempered when and where it needs to be, but otherwise, I pray it will be unleashed.

Song Crush #25

2011-02-18T16:47:00.001-06:00

Three song crushes in one day...gotta be a record.

I have Sherry and Kristy and ultimately Katy to thank for this jem...

Song Crush #23 and #24

2011-02-18T08:14:00.003-06:00

When it comes to music I generally find myself attracted to songs with a melancholic resonance. Even when I am in a good mood this holds true. Not exactly sure what that means...

Lately I have a crush on a duo called The Civil Wars. Their harmonies are sort of haunting...perfectly so.

And this post is a two-for. I also have a major crush on Green River Ordinance (also known as GRO). You should check out their website...As a band they have made some interesting choices, which I truly admire (i.e. leaving a major record label).

Permission

2011-02-09T21:22:00.003-06:00

My oldest son told me that when he grows up he wants to be an actor. While I was glad he actually chose a profession this time (for several years he only wanted to be a daddy, which was sweet, but won't pay the bills, right?), I immediately asked him what else he wants to be. translation: what's your back up plan for when you don't make it as an actor?

Way to be a dream crusher, Mindy. Way to bring that nine year old back down to earth, mom.

Here's the deal. I am so practical at heart. I always have been, which is evidenced by the very practical career path I chose. Had I allowed myself to dream and wonder when I was 18 and 19, I might be a graphic designer or something equally as creative. Had I NOT let practicality govern my decision making, maybe I would be writing for a living? Who really knows. It's a moot point now.

But I find myself wondering if and when my little guy will start letting practicality govern. Does that just happen as years tick by, or will it be me or someone else that robs him of big dreams that may or may not make sense?

I want more for him. I want both of my sons to feel permission to dream. Permission to try and most importantly, permission to fail. Because for me, the fear of failure is often...more often than I'd like to admit...the impetus for my practicality.

Song Crush #22

2011-02-09T21:13:00.003-06:00

I LOVE this song! It's a give you chills kind of song...a big song with a big sound that makes much of my big God.

side note: I think this band would site U2 as an influence, though I've never officially fact checked that (but seriously, who doesn't site U2 as an influence?).

Action Steps

2011-01-28T07:58:00.003-06:00

I am re-reading the gospels this year. Started this venture in January and so far, I am sticking with it. The genesis of this effort has to do with what I talked about at length in this post.

In a nut shell, I want to get to know my God and His love for me, and I want to sit still with it. Sounds simple enough, but it is a daunting concept for an activist at heart, who uses the phrase "action steps" multiple times a week (just ask anyone I serve at my church with).

I realized in one of those ah-ha moments, that every time I've ever read the gospels, I have immediately looked at how Jesus saw and treated the sick, weak, & marginalized, and filed that away as how I should see and treat the sick, weak & marginalized. There's nothing wrong with that...Jesus is my mentor after all and I do want to be like him. But I skipped the most important part...simply glazed over it and never looked back.

What I missed is this: I never sat in the truth that in those stories about Jesus, I am the sick, weak and marginalized. When I played casting director, it never occurred to me that Mindy was the blind one, the needy one, the crippled one...those were roles other people filled. It wasn't that I was above those roles or too good for them. In my quest to find my beloved action steps, I just looked past them, b/c let's face it, there aren't many action steps for the crippled and needy. The action steps were His alone...things only He can do.

...only when I realize how He sees and treats me. Only when I sit in the knowledge that His action steps are the ones that matter, that saved the world...can His enormous, unrelenting, gut-wrenching, life altering, identity changing LOVE really move in my life. Outside of this love, my actions steps mean nothing.

And this Love is moving. Slowly and surely sinking in, filling the cracks in the foundations of my faith. Bringing His face into focus and capturing my heart.

Emptying the Pocket

2011-01-07T08:13:00.002-06:00

I love the first miracle of Jesus. He turned water into wine at a wedding. The hosts had run out of vino and God made man provided more. In comparison to His later miracles (i.e. "Lazarus, come out!") water to wine wasn't as spectacular. Let's face it, running out of drink at a wedding, while embarrassing and inconvenient, isn't a life or death-er. But the first miracle is spectacular in it's own right if you really consider it. Might Jesus care about the details of my life that matter to me? Those things that aren't life or death, but that simply matter to me?

This is a biggie for me. I have a tendency to only want to bring things to God that are spiritual or lofty or important or rank up there with life and death? I will stuff all my other concerns in my pocket with a mentality that screams, get over it, Mindy; get a real problem; stop worrying over stupid stuff; don't waste His time. Mind you, this has gotten to be one full pocket, b/c if you think about it, most of life is exactly the mundanes, the unremarkables, the not importants...the "running out of wine."

But maybe, just maybe, He cares about all those things? And maybe, just maybe, in emptying my very full pocket at His feet, I get to better know the Jesus who turned water to wine?

I'm thinking that's what it's all about anyway.

Lately

2011-01-05T17:42:00.003-06:00

What I'm Thinking Lately...

I've been feeling awkward in my texting abilities. When do you end a text-versation? I never know when and I either make it awkward with one too many replies, or awkward because I didn't put in that one last reply.

I've understood, first hand, how hard it is to actually let your child do their own science fair project. "Mindy, step away from the show board."

I've decided I am so much better with a routine. As much as I love holidays, they throw me off and I'm usually ready for them to be over by the time they actually are.

I have marveled at how much trash our little family of 4 produces. It is mind boggling and gross and embarrassing.

I have laughed at how much I enjoy watching cooking shows, yet I HATE actually cooking.

I have pondered what it would have been like to have Facebook during the time I was a stay at home mom with my young kiddos. Would I have held the baby as I typed? Would his first word have been Facebook? Would I have paid a bit of attention to my kids, rather preferring to tend to my Farmville?

I think it's funny that when I get a J. Crew catalog I actually believe that THIS ONE TIME there might be something in it I can afford. Still waiting by the way...

and

I hate it when I am embarrassed for someone else (I call it being Secondhand Embarrassed). Yet several shows I watch on a regular basis set me up to be exactly that.

Song Crush #21

2011-01-04T21:29:00.002-06:00

My latest song crush, "On and On," is by who I would safely call my latest group crush, Tenth Avenue North (who have apparently been reading my mail, if you know what I mean.)

that day

2010-12-12T14:28:00.004-06:00

I am noticing this weird consistency in my life. As things get busier this holiday season, I find I am unknowingly embracing, what Loverboy might coin an "Everybody's working for the weekend," mentality. But instead of working for the weekend, I am working for/living for that day...the day on which I will finally be off work and the busyness will slow down.

So as I wait for that day to come, I am going and blowing through my life paying no mind to really living my hours. It's like I am operating in this robotic mode where if I can only get through the next 12 days, then and only then will I sit back, take it in, and enjoy my hours.

I am sort of sickened and totally ashamed of my approach. The question is, what am I missing as I wait for that day? What sweet moments simply pass me by in my quest toward that day? Where has Jesus shown up, and I didn't take notice, because that day beckons me? Has my forward motion toward that day robbed me of those contemplative moments that transform?

hmm...

Wish I could say this is the first time that day has so enraptured me. Wish I could say it would be the last...

Authenticity #2

2010-12-06T18:15:00.003-06:00

Previously I told you how much I enjoy authenticity...people who are, who they are, who they are... I found another blog that screams authenticity to me, not to mention belly laugh humor. Check out Tyler Stanton.com.

As a teaser, check out his post from today:

A Beginner’s Guide to Chick Flicks

December 6th, 2010 - Uncategorized - 9 Comments »

Chick flicks are inevitable in relationships. It’s crucial that men know how to properly handle themselves in these situations – the success of the relationship depends on it! Luckily, I’m a seasoned veteran in this department and am willing to share my secrets with you…for free. I present to you, A Beginner’s Guide to Chick Flicks:

1. Passive-aggressively scoff at wife’s initial chick flick suggestion. Don’t overdo it, but make it loud enough to demonstrate your boundless masculinity to other males within earshot.

2. Roll eyes during previews for good measure. Sighs are optional. Please use discretion.

3. After his first shirtless scene, whisper disturbing information about hot male protagonist you learned during your TMZ cram session prior to the movie.

4. Feel sudden twinge of emotion. Suppress it.

5. Insist to wife that lead actress is, in fact, “ugly” and that you cannot fathom why her face has been chosen for numerous magazine covers.

6. Not wanting to miss what she says when he says what he said he was going to say, forego urge to use the restroom despite drinking the equivalent of a 12-pack of Fanta Orange in the last half hour.

7. Feel another twinge of emotion, this time accompanied by mild eye-moistening. Rub temples with index finger of hand shield and cough to hide your true feelings from everyone who is certainly watching you instead of the movie.

8. Ride home in silence.

9. Once wife is asleep, succumb to your sudden impulse to journal about the paradox of love – its complexity, its simplicity, and your thankfulness that Hugh Grant taught you how seamlessly they intersect.

10. Deny having seen said movie when friends and co-workers talk about it. Quickly change the subject by spouting off obscure facts about Iron Man 2 you researched on IMDB for just such an occasion.

11. Repeat.

Men, any steps I missed? Ladies, feel free to chime in too.

Frequently Bought Together

2010-12-03T07:46:00.012-06:00

It has been a heavy week, so when I came across some good belly laugh material, I was thankful (you know how I love a belly laugh...which is bascially a cackle if you are me).

Check this out

Exhibit A: To prove this is legitimate, here is my screen cap... It's Amazon.com selling reusable adult diapers (and before you judge me, NO, I am not making fun of adult diapers. Give this nurse some credit). To see what I AM making fun of, see Exhibit B.

Exhibit B: My screen cap blown up...

I kid you not.

Perhaps even funnier is the customer comments section. "This thing is amazing! bought it with a copy of Call Of Duty and got a great deal. Arrived very quick and was easy to fit. Now the call of nature doesn't interrupt the call of duty. No longer will i have to decide between a kill streak or a brown streak."

By the way, this post is honor of my hubs and his best friend Doug. Guys, PLEASE don't get any ideas...

thankful

2010-11-25T07:14:00.005-06:00

I am thankful for 2 little boys who think I am a beauty queen, a trained chef, a comedian and protege of Martha Stewart. I am also thankful I have at least a few more years until these illusions crumble.

I am thankful for my ~~crow's feet~~ laugh lines...because they prove I've have a lot to laugh and smile about.

I am thankful for my 2 jobs outside of the home, that meet such different needs and use such different parts of me.

I am thankful for my hubs, who I unashamedly call my personal Edward Cullen. He will undoubtedly continue to dazzle me until we are old and gray.

I am thankful to do life with a group of people who love Jesus more than they love me, and that fact alone makes them the best friends a girl could have.

I am thankful for Pei Wei, picnik.com, ballet flats, big gaudy rings, black nail polish, and clothes from Target.

I am thankful for my 2 sisters and a brother who are amazing human beings...who I call not only family, but true friends.

I am thankful for my mentor, who lovingly "gets up in my kitchen." Her influence has grown me and changed me in ways I can't finds words to express.

Finally, I am thankful for a relentless, loving Savior, who calls me His beloved, and who has more for me than I could ever imagine. His love is my journey. A journey I gladly take one beautiful step at a time.

~Mindy 2010

More Crock Pot Madness

2010-11-08T16:50:00.007-06:00

Remember my ~~obsession with~~ fondness of my crock pot? Look what I found: A Year of Slow Cooking. This blog is comprehensive and the author is unabashedly in love with her slow cooker (sound familiar?) Check it out!

note about my slow cooker: my b.f.f., as pictured in a past blog post, is no more. I have a new b.f.f. and I call her "lady in red." Before you judge me, no, I am not fickle. My hubs might have loaded the old crock pot with pork chops and marinade in the metal part of the cooker vs. the porcelain inner part. He might have ruined the old one for good. I might have laughed really hard and told everyone I work with about it. But most importantly, I might have the best hubs in the universe, b/c even though he might break cook wear, he helps me cook. Ever heard of anything so cool?

note about the note: To his credit, the hubs was busy that morning. I had gone to work at the crack of dawn. He was wrangling kids and crock pot duties and meeting the plumber. Hubs is a smart man with a double degree in chemistry, who like many brilliant people out there, can be adorably absent minded :)

Authenticity

2010-11-05T17:30:00.004-05:00

I love authenticity. I love being around people who are, who they are, who they are. What you see is what you get. They don't "change it up" depending on who they are with and where they are.

I have found that this kind of authenticity isn't always easy to find. Heck, as much as I admire authenticity, I am not always authentic. I can be the queen of editing myself...my responses, my words, my everything...based on what I think people want or expect from me.

I am SO working on this. I am trying to be concerned only about "an audience of One," and not be so concerned with popular or public opinion. Not an easy task for a chronic people pleaser. Not easy at all. But I know what waits at the other side of people-pleaser-ism is freedom, sweet freedom. And as a child of God and a beloved of Jesus, I was made for freedom.

All this to say, I am truly inspired by authenticity and I want to start using my blog to share glimpses of it that I come across in life. Whether it be a person I meet, and interview I see or hear, or in this case, a blog I ~~stalk~~ follow...

Meet Kendi and her amazing blog, Kendi Everyday: a funny style blog. Kendi used to babysit for my boys. She left for college, and her parents moved from Lubbock and I sort of lost touch with her. She is now a beautiful, vibrant adult who blogs about something she loves, fashion and clothes. I adore her blog because it is 100% authentically her, and she unashamedly muses about something people could balk at or dismiss. Her sense of humor, her eye for fashion and the way she bundles it all up into tight, distinctly read-able blog posts is just brilliant.

Sin Richter Scale???

2010-10-29T08:35:00.004-05:00

Is there a Richter scale for sin?

Theologically, I would say no. I would say sin is sin. All have sinned. It separates us from God. It's penalty is death. BUT Jesus came to seek and save us, to die for our sin and pay the penalty for sin ONCE AND FOR ALL. That if we ask him to forgive us and invite him to be Lord of our life, he will make our sin white as snow.

This is what I believe. This is what I would proclaim I believe. BUT I have to admit, even though I hate to, that inside me lurks an ugliness. An ugliness that subconsciously ranks sin...puts it in order of "badness." Ranks it on some ridiculous Richter Scale that makes sense to my feeble mind... Lying isn't as bad a murder. Slander isn't as bad as adultery. I know I sin, but at least I've never stolen anything... blah, blah, blah

YET, Scripture doesn't rank sin. Sin is sin and it ALL separates us from God. Moreover, it has ALL been paid for by a loving Savior. ALL of it.

Why am I even talking about this? Because I read a blog by one of my favs, Carlos Whitaker, that stirred the ugliness in me and made it rise on up to the surface. Made me face my stupid Richter Scale, and made me ask myself some hard questions... Do I really believe what I say I believe in regards to sin? Do I really believe Jesus paid the price for all sin. Do I really believe in the redemptive power of Christ's forgiveness? Do I believe everyone can come to a place of peace and forgiveness, no matter where their sin ranks on my stupid, stupid Richter Scale?

As hard as it is to face my own ugliness, I am thankful every time I look it square in the eye and get it into the Light.

I invite you to read the blog post that got up in my kitchen and stirred my ugliness in the first place. Drop me a line and let me know what it stirred in you.

Colors

2010-10-15T08:45:00.002-05:00

Read this statement by a young African pastor...found among his papers in Zimbabwe after he was martyred.

It's humbling, inspiring and spot on:

"I'm a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of His and I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.
My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My future is secure. I'm done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded. I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by Holy Spirit power.
My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is heaven. My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, but my guide is reliable and my mission is clear.
I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed.
I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary. I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of Christ.
I am a disciple of Jesus. I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when He does come for His own, He'll have no problems recognizing me. My colors will be clear!"
This vibrant declaration was contributed by Dr. Nina Gunter who got it from veteran missionary Louise Robinson Chapman (Africa: 1920-1940). One side note is that today this commitment statement circulates among Christians (and even web sites) with the byline "Author unknown." The story behind this statement makes it all the more potent!

Song Crush #20

2010-10-09T17:28:00.002-05:00

Hanging On by Britt Nicole

Not only does this song have the upbeat catchiness that I love (sort of Francesca Batistelli's "Free to be Me"-ish), it's lyrics, though simple, are spot on.

you see my anxious heart
you see what i am feeling
and when i fall apart
you are there to hold me

I love this, because my God DOES know me inside and out, and even when I chose to pretend I'm fine, or when I put on my finest "Sunday best mask," I'm not fooling Him.

But maybe the best part of the song...

this: Your voice is my healing

And it is. Both His gentle whisper that I hear in my gut and my soul. And His voice that I find in the Scripture that is alive and well, and miraculously accessible.

Bowlin'

2010-10-08T19:56:00.004-05:00

The hubs just spent several days in Atlanta at the Catalyst West Conference. One of those days he texted me and told me to watch Tripp and Tyler's latest video, which was premiered at the conference. You may remember their awesomeness that I shared awhile ago, a video called "High Five Etiquette."

This one's good too... And I love seeing Chris Tomlin with some swagger.

Watermelon to the Face

2010-10-06T16:48:00.004-05:00

I am a person who laughs hysterically if someone falls or gets hit in the head by a ball, etc...ONLY if the person is clearly not injured. I know it's kind of sick but I cannot help it. I guess unplanned, uncontrived slapstick-ish humor is right up my alley.

As you may know, I adore Amazing Race, and the first episode of the new season provided me EXACTLY unplanned, uncontrived slapstick-ish humor.

Check this out and get out your imaginary ice pack in empathy:

Introducing My New Best Friend...

2010-09-25T13:58:00.005-05:00

I want you guys to meet my new best friend. I *think* she's a she. I *know* she is reliable, helps me out in a crunch and she smells awesome. Plus, my husband and sons LOVE her!

Without further ado, meet Crock Pot:

I am not kidding when I say life has taken it up a notch in the busy-ness department. I am finding that I roll in the door from work and the kids have to be somewhere in under an hour. This leaves barely any cook time, which leads to poor quality meals and lots of processed foods. Ick.

This is where Crock Pot comes in. If I can plan ahead (which I can), and if I can allow 5 to 10 extra minutes in the morning for prep time (let's face it, that amounts to me NOT pushing snooze), I can get Crock Pot going, and she will gladly cook my meal for me all day. I walk in that afternoon, make a quick salad and maybe an easy side and dinner is made.

It's a beautiful relationship indeed.

I have discovered many other busy moms who have a similar best friend and we like to share recipes. Check out these: Pepperoncini Beef (shout out goes to Jenn), Slow Cooker Chicken Pot Pie, and Chicken Taco Soup (thanks, Ali).

I would love to hear YOUR recipes... Look at it this way, it will only strengthen my relationship with my best friend. (And if I'm being honest, she has a complex about needing to be useful. Something about feeling like she's being put away on a shelf, blah, blah, blah). Plus, there is a handy comment section below just waiting to be filled with your culinary genius!

xoxo,

Mindy

edit: one recipe I love but don't have a link for is pork chops: I use bone in pork chops, 4 to 5, put them in crock pot with equal parts Teriyaki sauce and Dr. Pepper, enough to cover. Cook on low all day and sprinkle with pepper when ready to serve. Really yummy...got the idea from my bro-in-law, who cooks his in a smoker.

Spiritual Jazz Hands???

2010-09-10T08:56:00.007-05:00

I am a shy person and I generally hate attention, so it is ironic that I was a born performer. At a very young age I figured out I could do my signature "hiney shake" and get laughs from my parents and 3 siblings. Don't think I didn't pull out said move when I needed strokes, or maybe even when tension filled the house and we all needed diversion.

Then came elementary school. I eased into the role of model student and quite liked it. Hung on to that role till I wore my morterboard.

Next came show choir (this was before "Glee" made it hip, cool and now). I could pull out jazz hands and the white girl "Roger Rabbit" with the best of them...resulting in smiles and applause from the crowd.

Just in case you needed a visual

I don't think I was a fake in any of these roles. I don't think the "performances" were disingenuous.... But there was a definite mind-behavior connection: When I am in x,y,z role, I act x,y,z way. So determined were such roles, I could ease into them robotically, on cue, on demand kind of thing.

It should come as no surprise to me that this performance mentality creeps into everything I do... A good mom should act this way. A dutiful wife should employ such and such behaviors.

A godly woman should look and act this way. ...and right now I am dealing with this particular performance.

When I became a believer almost 19 years ago I immediately went into the "what do I do mode." I adopted behaviors I saw other Christians doing, and I made my life look the way I thought it should look. This is not all bad, b/c I do believe we should let mature Christians model for and mentor us. But I do believe I got it wrong at the heart level. I skipped the part where I sit and soak in my new identity. Where I sit and soak in His love, His choosing, His adoption, His fondness of me. Where I sit and soak in Scripture and let it become my heartbeat and guiding light.

Did I touch on those things? Absolutely. Did I let those things organically move me into action? Not so much.

So now I am pushing rewind, if you will, and I am trying to sit and soak in the Truth of his love for me. Sitting and soaking in is like pulling teeth, by the way, b/c in this current world, silence and contemplation is simply counterintuitive.

The thing is, I want to get this right. It's too important not too. It sickens me to think about performing as a Christian, putting on spiritual jazz hands and wowing those around me with something I conjured up and did in my own strength.

So my prayer--the desire that is determining how I order my life right now is this: I want to know who I am in Him and to Him. I want to sit in my role as beloved and soak up every ounce of it. I want that to be what matters paramount in my life. I want Him in me, to be what moves me.

Remember Me???

2010-09-01T07:41:00.004-05:00

My last post was June 30th. That was...well, a ridiculously long time ago. Let's just say I hadn't blogged in such a long time that one day I pulled it up and found that my super cute template had vanished and what was left was just black and white and some weird floaty squares. Mortified, I quickly fixed it, but alas, still no updated posts.

It was a busy summer for us and I simply ran out of hours everyday. It was work, kids, blah, blah, blah...but it was also my compulsion to complete a certain project. One thing you may not know about me is that I love writing fiction. As of this August, I have written 2 full length novels. Before you ask, no they won't be published. No, I'm not going to shop either out to agents. Simply put, I'm not that good of a writer. The thing is, I just enjoy doing it. I enjoy the process. I enjoy crafting the perfect sentence. I enjoy creating characters you can relate to and get inside of. But I don't aspire to be some well-known, published author.

It may sound like a waste of time, but for me it relates to what I wrote about in that ancient post on June 30th. It's about being who I was made to be. Embracing what makes me tick. It's about finding pleasure in doing what I was made to do. Heck, I feel God smile on me when I decoupage (my blog banner is actually a picture of a decoupage I did). Sounds ridiculous, but when I get my creative juices flowing and connect that to my hands...pure bliss.

I certainly find pleasure in more "lofty" areas of life too, such as the ministries I am involved with at church, and parenting my little boys. But my point is, there is A LOT to each and every one of us. Layers and layers to us, and it's fun to peel those back and figure them out and see "His appointment" in them.

So for now, please see this post as an apology for my unintentional blog sabbatical. I have committed mistake #1 from DO YOU MAKE THESE 10 MISTAKES WHEN YOU BLOG?, per Michael Hyatt (this guy is pure genius)! I'm pretty sure it's not my only transgression on this list, but oh well, what's a girl to do?

I'd like to end this post with a question, which would require YOUR participation (she says as she taps the microphone. Hello, hello).

[side bar] I am taking a a risk here, b/c getting folks to comment is hard. I don't know why, but a lot of us prefer to blog-stalk anonymously, right? Nothing at all wrong with that. I am a certifiable blog stalker myself...you can see where I personally lurk, on the side bar of this blog to the left, titled, "I Really Dig," which might be more aptly titled, "I Totally Stalk."

So here goes.

What is is that you do in which you feel God smiling on you??? Share your lofty and decoupage-esque endeavors alike...

Masterpiece of You

2010-06-30T09:05:00.006-05:00

I feel like there are seasons in life in which God "has" me in a certain place. Where I see themes of what I am learning, repeating themselves in what I read, hear, come across, etc. It's like, Okay God I get what you're laying down...

This summer, for me, it's all about re-discovering who He made me to be.

Somewhere along the line, I began to only let parts of myself--my personality--show. The parts I thought "appeared" spiritual or proper. I formed a picture of what I thought a godly woman should look like and decided to try to look that way. In the process, I ended up stifling parts of myself. And when I let my guard down and allowed those parts to show up--like when I get to laughing so hard I turn red and LOUDLY cackle--I would later regret their appearance and wonder if I somehow blew it. There is a word for that kind of living and thinking...

Bondage.

As I consider that we were are FREE in Jesus and it is for freedom that He died for us, I realize bondage has NO place in my life as a believer, and that I am simply crazy to live to some kind of ideal or image, rather than to my Savior, who has SO much more for me.

I am learning right now, in a process that has more layers than a flaky baklava, what it means to be the Mindy He made me to be...what it looks like for Christ to flow through me, uniquely me.

I am pondering a Scripture from Ephesians 2:

¹⁰ For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

So my question to myself for this summer and perhaps to you if this whole thing hits home:

What does the masterpiece of you look like??? If you were once a blank canvas that was painted and tweaked and poured over by the Maker himself, what does that hand-created, original masterpiece look like? What makes it special, unique and lovely? What would it look like for you to live as that masterpiece and allow Jesus to flow through you?

Belly Laughs

2010-06-10T11:35:00.002-05:00

As you know, I am into belly laughs. Often they come naturally, just a part of living with Blake Porter who will do or say ANYTHING. And sometimes they come from the myriad of videos floating in cyberspace.

Here are a couple of such videos that a friend showed me today. Promise they are worth your time. I can SO relate, and I bet you can too...

Song crush #19

2010-05-25T11:05:00.000-05:00

All I can say is wow, and that this is where I'm at...

45 Life Lessons

2010-05-25T11:01:00.002-05:00

I hate don't love email forwards, but when I get them from certain people...those who don't send eleventy-billion of them, I stop and read.

So glad I read this one. Enjoy...

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone..

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12.. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful..

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion, Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone and everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles..

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now..

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved..

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere..

40 . If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

MIA

2010-05-12T18:54:00.003-05:00

I have been a little bit MIA. I have 2 excuses...I've been busy (I know...cry me a river). And all my blogging energy has gone toward the re-boot of liveoak|roots, the official blog of my church, Live Oak. (insert shameless plug here)

I have two quick musings to share today.

First of all, the hubs and I went to a marriage enrichment conference two weekends ago. It was AWESOME. While I can say we didn't learn anything ground-breaking, we did find that this conference is about couples carving out time to focus on each other and on their marriage. I don't care who you are...taking that kind of time to nurture your relationship, to remember who your spouse is, to look at what God's design for marriage is, is a good, good thing. There will be another conference just like the one we attended, in Grapevine this June (at the awesomeness that is the Gaylord Texan). Here's the link: Weekend to Remember. Family Life Ministries is very good about finding ways to help you afford this, so if money is an issue, call them!

Secondly, I LOVE a good belly laugh. I think it's good for the soul. I like to think that God loves hearing me cackle (and those of you who know me, can attest that it exactly that) as much as I adore hearing that kind of laughter from my boys. So for the express purpose of a good belly laugh, enjoy this..

Beautiful Commercial

2010-05-03T19:05:00.003-05:00

This is a commercial I saw posted in someone else's blog. Feels more like a mini movie, even made me cry. Check it out...just beautiful:

Gratitude Week 3

2010-04-25T13:24:00.002-05:00

It's that time again!

This week I am thankful to God...

-for belly laughs--the kind that make you cry and have to wipe your tears with your tshirt [:)]

-for having friends who I can be the geekiest, giggliest, most wide-open version of myself around without fearing judgement

-for the fact that music exists, and that as Chris Crow so aptly wrote: God's Love is my Song

-for my friend Kari who is fabulous and 40, and SO worth celebrating!!!!

-for baby Nathan

and finally...

-for the humility I see in others that gives me a peek of Jesus Himself

So now it's your turn. Don't be shy. What are YOU thankful for???

song crush #18

2010-04-24T08:32:00.002-05:00

I was introduced to this one by some friends (so thank you). It is AMAZING, but what song by Bebo Norman isn't, right?

Click here: The Only Hope

this will take you to Google, click on the first entry to listen (play song from lala.com)

Check out these lyrics...

I want a crumb, but you are a feast
I want a song, but you are a symphony
I want a star, but you're a galaxy

And I have resolved that I'm much better off
In what you have for me

the Small Stuff

2010-04-24T08:07:00.002-05:00

I take a tiny white and blue pill that regulates my blood pressure. Perhaps I take it forgranted that this little capsule just magically does what its supposed to do? I mean how cool is it that something so small can have this huge effect on my whole body...my overall health?

What other tiny things have a huge effect?

a new baby will rock a family's world (in the best possible way)

a tiny spark can turn into a raging forest fire

a hairline fracture can put someone in a cast and crutches for weeks

one root of bitterness can take over a person's entire attitude

the faith of a mustard seed can move a mountain (Mt 17:20)

one idea can change the world...just ask the inventor of the World Wide Web (and no it wasn't Al Gore)

one cancer cell mutates exponentially and wreaks havoc

one word of kindness can change the trajectory of someone's day

Do we pay attention to the small stuff? Do we even consider that the small stuff can have huge implications...good and bad? I wonder if we did, would our actions and words look different? I wonder if we did, would our world look any different?

Gratitude Week 2

2010-04-18T14:33:00.002-05:00

I had 8 people "participate" in my gratitude experiment last week. It was fun to have some interaction. Even better to know what my friends were thankful for in their lives.

Let's try this again. Let me know what you are thanking God for this week!

As for me...

I am thankful:

~for the rain, and that it finally stopped

~that its so fun to have a college football team in town

~for the access I have to my Savior every minute

~for Luke and Blake's belly laughs

~for baby Cate coming safely into the world and that Nathan is on his way!

~for Laura's bday...the world is a better place with her in it

Now it's your turn...

Retro song crush #2

2010-04-14T22:08:00.004-05:00

Who didn't love this song, right?

But let's be honest, as AWESOME as it is, does anyone really know what all the words mean???

500 Miles

Parenting is Like a Communicable Disease

2010-04-14T17:39:00.003-05:00

Yesterday my 6 year old asked me what our soul is. The question surprised me and I said a quick prayer as I attempted to explain the concept to him. After my explanation was given, he said, "Ok," and strolled into the other room, while singing, "I got soul but I'm not a soldier...."

Oh.

So his question had more to do with a song by The Killers (track 6 on my "feel good" iPod playlist) than it did with a more spiritual implication.

So that was pretty funny (and yes, I know The Killers isn't the best musical choice for the 6 and under crowd...Raffi they aren't), but it got me thinking about something that I know to be true.

How much of parenting is caught, not taught? How much do our kiddos learn from us not by what we say and teach, but by what they see, hear, or observe???

Just as Blake's little ears picked up a catchy refrain from a song he'd heard me play on the iPod. What else are my kids picking up on by watching my attitude, seeing what choices I make, noticing what I do with my time, seeing how I react to what life throws my way?

The big question is what will my kids catch from me?

(And the bigger takeaway?

...I really need Jesus!)

Gratitude Week 1

2010-04-10T15:39:00.002-05:00

I am trying a little experiment here. Work with me if you will.

I believe the big picture of each day is composed of tiny pixels, that if we look closely enough are actually God's presence and fingerprints. He is all over everything, but I am personally too busy a lot of times to notice. I also believe the key to seeing Him there is the act of gratitude. The act of expressing thanks for things big and small. As we become grateful, we can zero in on those pixels and see our God everywhere!

So here's the experiment: I am going to do a weekly gratitude post. Your part? Tell me what you are thankful for in the comments section below.

I know many of you read this...I can tell because my counter number goes up when I post. But not so many of you comment, which is fine (blog stalkers!!!). What would be so cool about you posting on this one? We could be thankful for what he's done in each other's lives together!

What you are thankful for can be big or small, "spiritual" or mundane. It doesn't matter what it is, what matters is Who are thankful to...

I'll go first...

Gratitude Week 1:

I am thankful to my Maker...

1. that Mark found the rotted dead rat in the shed and not me.

2. that my hubs sent me flowers and made me feel so loved

3. that my work friends called to see how Blake's labs turned out

4. that Blake's labs were normal and he has a gigantor tonsil for apparently no reason

5. for my iPod and the music on my "so worshipful" playlist

6. that Luke came up with his own idea for a Sunday service :), and it was creative and awesome

7. that Jesus meets me exactly where I'm at

8. for two babies on the way in the next 9 days!

9. that my part is to respond to Christ's love

10. a lazy Saturday with no big agenda

11. for family date night last night...awesome movie and Pei Wei!!!!

Okay friends. What are you thankful for today, this week, lately...

Love Letter

2010-04-09T10:05:00.002-05:00

I am one of these lucky girls who has a hubs that likes to send me "for-no-special-reason" flowers. They are always beautiful, usually a spring mix with my favorite gerber daisies. But if I'm being honest, my favorite part about the flowers is the little card that comes with it. Mark always goes to the flower shop and hand writes me a note. It is with pure excitement that I open the little envelope, just dying to see what he's written this time. I treasure these notes, I memorize Mark's words, and they leave me flying high all day long.

Last night, a dear friend reminded me that God's Word is His love letter to the World, to His Church, to me.

This got me thinking about how I approach my time in God's Word...

Do I dive into His Word with anticipation? Do I treasure His love note to me? Do I ponder it and store it my heart all day long? Does the message of Love between the front and back covers give me wings?

Hero

2010-04-03T17:57:00.002-05:00

None of my musings are needed for this one.

Just listen...

Hero by Abandon

"There He goes - a hero. A savior to the world.
Here He stands with scars in His hands.
With love, He gave His life so we could be free.
The Savior of the world.

He choose to take the cross. Shed tears for the lost, the broken, and the needy.
Forgiving those who were and will be.
The angel made it clear. He told them have no fear.
He’s not here. He’s not here!"

So thankful to the Savior of the World, the Savior of my heart.

Easter 2010

How Could You Say No?

2010-04-02T09:33:00.005-05:00

This is sort of a song crush, but more.

When I was 16 years old, I heard a certain song at a Young Life retreat. It was a guy and his guitar and I'll never forget it. The reason why? The song sort of crystalized things for me...I can see in retrospect that God had been pursuing me--a weary little girl utterly heartbroken after losing her mother--for 3 years. Hearing this song brought God's pursuit of me to a point of clarity. It was my ah-ha moment, if you will.

It was the moment I just got it: Who Jesus is--What He had to do--Why He did it--Who He did it for...

Isaiah 53:5 from The Message

But it was our sins that did that to him,

that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!

He took the punishment, and that made us whole.

Through his bruises we get healed.

Listen here:

How Could You Say No

(This is a youtube video link...not so big on the video, but the version of the song is beautiful)

May this Easter be a weekend of contemplation for you. May it not pass by in a blur of colored eggs, chocolates and busy-ness. May it be a time to really think about what was done on our behalf so many years ago, and what that means for our reality today...

The "E" Word

2010-03-17T20:37:00.002-05:00

Evangelism. The big "E" word.

Makes some shudder. Some cringe. Some smile. Some remember.

Whatever the case, the word tends to produce a definite response in most.

And for many that response is one of discomfort.

Perhaps this is because some immediately think of a slick televangelist, complete with a sobbing wife, imploring us from a TV screen to repent (Oh and to send your check to following PO Box).

Or some from the "discomfort camp" may say that faith is a personal matter and one shouldn't force their views on someone else.

On the other side of the coin, the word evangelism can evoke positive notions in some.

Like me, for example. When I hear the word, I think of a couple of teenaged girls who loved me with their lives when I was my most lost. They cared for me and stuck with me, and eventually I understood why: They were loved by Jesus and they loved Him back. They simply wanted me to know He loved me too. In it's simplest form, this was evangelism. And I will forever be thankful to Diana and Carrie for literally loving me into the arms of my Savior.

I don't know where you fall? Does the E word make you cringe? Does it bring back a very important memory? Or does it convict you, b/c the E word simply isn't something you pay attention to?

Whatever the case, I want to offer you the best definition of Evangelism I have ever heard. A definition that forever changed the concept for me.

A couple of years ago, I caught the tail end of a radio interview on Air One. Sadly, I don't even know who was being interviewed, except that she was a contemporary Christian artist. Her words have stuck with me, though. (I'm not even sure the words are originally hers. I've tried to find their source, but failed. Just hate that I can't give props to someone).

This is what she said:

"In this world, we are all beggars. Christians just know where the bread line is."

Isn't that evangelism in a nutshell? ...showing someone else where the bread line is? Showing someone else WHO the bread line is??? John 6:48

I know, without a doubt, if I saw someone on the street dying of hunger, and I knew where they could be fed (and NEVER go hungry again) I would literally drag them there. There wouldn't be a question in my mind. I would drop everything to connect this person in need to a source of nourishment. Who wouldn't, right?

Then why is evangelism so hard? Why do we complicate it, and make it so many things it's not? Why do we hesitate for even a second to take others to the only place that can meet their immediate need?

***

When I first went to that breadline, some 20 years ago, I left with a full spiritual belly. But that's not all. I also left with a new identity...(click here) In Christ I Am, and an all access, 24-7, 365 day pass to the Bread of Life.

I will never go hungry again.

God pursued me, this much I know, and I know he used 2 young girls to get me to the front of that bread line. Wonder what my path would've looked like if they hadn't taken the time to show me there?

Song crush #17

2010-03-17T09:30:00.003-05:00

Okay, so on this one, I wasn't sure if it qualified as a "retro" song crush??? It came out in 1995, which was 15 years ago. This makes me cringe a bit...I remember as if it were yesterday, when this song was current. I think this means I am getting old.

Anywho, retro or not, this is one of the best love songs EVER. Tracy Chapman's voice is simply haunting.

Enjoy: The Promise

Book Crush #3

2010-03-17T09:05:00.004-05:00

I want to thank my boss/friend Adam for showing me this book. It piqued my interest b/c I am always sort of dying to find a good daily devotional book. Something that will help me really get into the Bible in the 15 to 20 minutes I have on any given day.

So anyway, I got this devotional guide b/c it is looked "meaty" to me. (Some daily devotionals are kind of flowery, if you know what I mean, and that's not what I'm looking for.)

The Message//Remix:Solo

An Uncommon Devotional

It revolves around lectio divina, an ancient approach to exploring Scripture that is designed to help us engage in the Word and not just read it. Each daily segment has a Bible reading, and a THINK, PRAY, and LIVE part. The result, at least for me, is contemplative time in the Word.

Click here to see a product description and to peek inside it:

Remix: Solo

Book Crush #2

2010-03-04T08:49:00.005-06:00

I am reading a book that is literally changing me. It's simple in it's concept, but there is something about it that is affecting me in a profound way...making Scripture I've read many times, take on new color and vibrancy. I just sense God using this book in my personal journey in big, fat way.

So I am going to proudly pimp it out to those of you who take time to give this blog a peek now and then...

If your reading docket is full, put it on your list of must-reads. If you have the time now, type in Amazon.com and buy it without further ado. All I know, is that it ended up in my hands accidentally (translation: God put it there). And for that accident, I am thankful.

Here is a link to a description of the awesomeness that sits between its 2 covers...

Scouting the Divine Rox

Wisdom of Dogs?

2010-02-26T07:37:00.005-06:00

I spent a sick day at home last Tuesday hunkered down in my living room, which gave me an all access view (out a large bay of windows) to Coco...our overweight supercute weiner dog. She spent the entire day looking for the sun.

I'd look out and our backyard would be completely shaded, expect for maybe a 2ft X 2 ft patch of sunlight. Sure enough, Coco would be in that patch "basking" in the warmth. The patch moved as the day progressed, and Coco moved with it everytime. She did this all day. A picture of persistence.

Is she smart? If you know her, the answer is a resounding no. (This is the same dog who drags out all of her blankets and runs around the yard with them like a rhythmic gymnast, getting them wet and gross so she has no dry blankets when she needs them.)

Was finding the sunny patch instinctual. My guess is yes.

So this begs the question (at least to me)... Is finding the Son, basking in His light, instinctual for me?

I know Jesus is light, and His light shines through the darkness. And not in just a 2 X 2 patch either. But I'm wondering if I always choose to bask in his light?

What am I putting into my mind through what I listen to and look at? How am I ordering my steps? How often do I stop and just listen to my Savior? Am I seeking his guidance in decisions, big and small?

And is the sum of all these daily, and even moment by moment choices, the equivalent of finding the light and spending my day in that light, no matter what adjustments I must make to remain there?

Do I have the persistence of my uber-awesome wiener dog?

The answer, honestly...sometimes.

the awesomeness that is Amazing Race

2010-02-19T07:34:00.011-06:00

I am always drawn to people who are comfortable in their own skin and who don't feel the need to change in order to fit in or impress anyone.

So when I tuned in to watch Amazing Race (http://www.cbs.com/primetime/amazing_race/) this season I was instantly fascinated by these guys:

Jet and Cord McCoy

They are professional bull riding brothers who have won something like 5 world championships a piece. They come from a small town "with one stop light that blinks yellow" and have the most endearing southern drawls you've ever heard.

My very favorite thing about them though? The fact that while the rest of the teams don clima-lite Under Armor, fleece, tennis shoes (and bascially anything that would make running all over God's creation at a fast and furious pace comfortable)... these guys are wearing their brush poppers, wranglers and boots.

In fact, one of them did cable walking (which is this)...

in his full cowboy regalia. I was so nervous for him, because I couldn't imagine his boots giving him much traction on the wire. But hey, when you ride thousand plus pound bulls for a living, it probably takes quite a bit to throw you.

But the point is, he is, who he is, who he is- comfortable in his own skin- even a hundred feet in the air hovering over Valparaiso, Chile...

So my blog has not become a promotional spot for Amazing Race, but I do love the show and I would so recommend it to anyone who likes reality T.V. with out all the creepy pre-fabbed drama. Other interesting players this season...a 70 something grandmother who late in life became a triathlete, the past winner of Big Brother (which just happens to be a reality show with creepy pre-fabbed drama), and last but not least, the 2007 Miss Teen USA contestant whose pageant interview went viral on youtube. You know the one, "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children"...."

Poor, poor girl. Don't miss the irony that this very girl is on a show where maps and geography/directional sense are big players.

Should be interesting.

Provision

2010-02-14T16:03:00.003-06:00

Our friend Donnie guest-preached today. I love Don. My hubs loves Don. He is smart (even has a Ph.D. attached to his name), funny, adores Jesus, and is the kindest person you will ever come across. I also love his way of thinking, b/c it's usually a bit different, usually spot on, and usually compelling...i.e. leaves me mentally wrestling...and I like that.

What I took away from today on his talk about marriage?

1. Our spouse is not meant to be our oxygen. Our spouse was never meant to meet all of our needs. But when we look to them to be our ultimate meeter of needs, we place them in an unending "blame/credit trap"...when they do right by us/please us, they get all the credit. When they don't (which is likely more often) they get all the blame.

2. God is the source to meet all our needs. He is the Provider, while our spouse is...a provision. Let me say that again in all it's awesomeness: God is the Provider, while our spouse is a provision. If we can get that right, it frees us to want our spouse, not need them. It frees us to be a part of a healthy relationship with our partner, while getting our deepest needs met by the One designed to meet them in the first place.

Pretty good stuff, right? Pretty simple stuff even. So why is it so easy to complicate?

I Know What a "Word Cloud" is Now...

2010-02-07T13:21:00.005-06:00

I like...

i made this at www.wordle.net. pretty cool website that makes "word clouds" (their words, not mine) based on a list of words you provide. it can also create a word cloud based off of your blog (if you have an RSS feed)...you give it your URL and it seeks out words you've used. see:

It's fun. It's free. It's self-expression. Check it out...

Blogs, Web Sites and such that I Dig Right Now

2010-01-29T12:48:00.003-06:00

I adore my computer (Cali) and I love nothing more than to find true gems on the internet that make my life easier, more fun or richer...

Check these out if you feel the same:

1. http://www.youversion.com

YouVersion is an online Bible, and SO much more. There is an app so you can get it on your smart phone too. My fav thing about YouVerison is the parallel Bible feature. You can pull up Scripture and look at it in two versions side by side (for me it's always NIV and The Message).

2. www.picnik.com

I love taking pictures though I am NOT awesome at it and I don't have a fancy camera. What I do have is picnik.com (the poor man's Photoshop), and thus I can edit my photos in the coolest ways. Basic picnik is free. The upgrade (which I suggest) is only about $30/year. With this comes editing tools, text features, borders, collages, and tons of different photo effects. They even offer seasonal features....like at Halloween you can turn yourself into a ghoul. Fun, right?

Using picnik, I made this from a simple picture of a cross. It took like 10 minutes. Believe me, it's Mindy fool-proof.

3. http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com

This is a blog from a guy named Carlos Whitaker. He's a musician, creative visionary, tattoo enthusiast, adoption advocate and all around cool guy. I adore his authenticity as a believer and find his posts to be funny, compelling and thought-provoking. He has the "right touch" as a blogger, not making them too long, and balancing out his offerings btwn seriousness and levity. I get his posts sent to my inbox and I make time to read them, knowing I won't be disappointed.

and

4. http://nutritionponderings.blogspot.com/

this is a new blog written by a friend of mine (since 1st grade). She has a passion for nutrition, but she does not come off Nazi-esque with her views, but rather well-informed. She includes recipes and lot of helpful information about the "whys" of nutrition, and focuses a lot on how to feed our kiddos well.

Giselle, Bobby and June

2010-01-13T08:25:00.003-06:00

Last night as I was tucking in my boys, my six year old said this: "Mom, you're a fashion model."

As I stood there in work scrubs and a black fleece, glasses and chapped lips, I laughed one of those laughs, that had my mouth been full of a drink, I would've spewed it all over the room. Because, let's face it, Giselle Bundchen I am not. But I quickly recovered and hugged my son, because the little guy meant what he said.

Monday night, when I served my family soup for dinner (prep went something like this: boil water, add pre-made mix, simmer and stir), my oldest son said this: "Mom, you are the best chef ever." I secretly rolled my eyes, because Bobby Flay I am not. But again I recovered and smiled at him, because he too, meant what he said.

And then there's my hubs who must have a built-in sensor. Because just when I am in a melancholic trance, surveying our dirty house and mounds of laundry, he'll say something like this: "Thanks for all you do to keep our lives running smoothly." And I want to yell at him and tell him can't you see how I am so not June Cleaver? But I refrain, because he also means what he says.

I think the 3 boys in my life are getting something right here... Isn't there a saying that happiness is wanting what you already have, or something to that effect? Granted I am not Giselle, Bobby or June, but my family treats me like I am, and in doing so might even sometimes make me feel like I am. And the only reason they feel compelled to offer such props is because they love me and they want the mom/wife that they already have.

And even though my temptation in response to such kuddos is to "do the wonderwoman" (deflect all compliments that come my way with my special gold cuffs), I do my best to embrace their words, because there is something so amazing about being wanted (shortcomings and all).

So maybe we'd all be better off if we viewed the things we have, the people in our lives, the jobs we work, the houses in which we live, as prized commodities; gifts; something to be desired? Maybe if we could get past thinking the "grass is always greener," we could really see the merits of the grass in our own front yard and start appreciating it and maybe even wanting it...

Book Crush #1: Primal

2009-12-17T14:21:00.005-06:00

You guys are used to my many "Song Crushes," but for the first time ever, I am posting a Book Crush...

I had the privilege of reading an advance copy of Mark Batterson's latest book, Primal. If you don't know who Mark is, he is the lead pastor of National Community Church in D.C., a writer and in my opinion, one of the leading Christian-thought leaders of our generation.

I love the way he sees the faith. And the way in which he articulates through written word always leaves me thinking, contemplating, and "chewing on it." For this reason, I subscribe to his blog (http://evotional.com/) and own his 2 previous books, In A Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day and Wild Goose Chase...which are must reads.

So I will admit I went into reading Primal with pretty high expectations...which I am happy to say were met and exceeded. This book had me smiling, examining my heart, pondering what I believe and how I live that. It also caused me to (several times) cry my favorite kind of cry...the kind where tears fill your eyes because your soul has been stirred and you feel, for lack of better word, changed somehow.

Primal, in the most basic sense, looks at Christianity in it's purest form, raising the question,"when all the superficialities are stripped away, what is the primal essence of Christianity?" (pg. 3). The key verse of this book is, what Batterson calls the Primal Commandment: Love the Lord Your God with all your heart, and with all you soul and with all your mind and and with all your strength. And Batterson, in a way that is uniquely him, breaks this command down and examines what it looks like to REALLY love Christ with each part of ourself.

This book is worth your dime and your time. It is pleasurable to read and is broken down, even within chapters, in a way that gives you good "chunks" to process. I have my copy dog-eared and underlined, and just know I will be referring back to it often...revisiting "verbal gems" that demand, what my hubs and I call, mental marination.

Check it out and let me know what you think once you do... Primal is available for purchase beginning Dec. 22!

http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9781601421319

Song crush #16

2009-12-13T13:26:00.005-06:00

The longer I pursue Jesus, the more I realize how much I have to UNLEARN.

I make it everything it's not.

I complicate it.

I conceive an infinite God with my finite mind and make him so very small.

I turn a relationship into rules and religion.

I warp and twist it, really.

I want simplicity. I want every part of me to be melded with every part of Christ. I want everything I do to be a true, genuine extension of Him loving me and me accepting that love, and allowing it to rock my very world.

I WANT JESUS.

this song crush hits the nail on the head for me. Enjoy...

"What Do I Know of Holy?" by Addison Road

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS-bRarAZ2g&feature=related

Advent Conspiracy

2009-12-06T15:48:00.005-06:00

My church is taking part in Advent Conspiracy this year, and it is rocking my world in the best possible way. If you aren't familiar with what this is, check out this short video, as well as the web site (adventconspiracy.org)

video link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkTyPzRzuwc

Christmas can [still] change the world.

The story of Christ's birth is a story of promise, hope, and a revolutionary love.

So, what happened? What was once a time to celebrate the birth of a savior has somehow turned into a season of stress, traffic jams, and shopping lists.

And when it's all over, many of us are left with presents to return, looming debt that will take months to pay off, and this empty feeling of missed purpose. Is this what we really want out of Christmas?

What if Christmas became a world-changing event again?

Welcome to Advent Conspiracy...

song crush #15

2009-12-05T21:07:00.003-06:00

It's Barlow Girl again...can't help it. Found this song last year at this time and now it's my favorite Christmas song...

"Hallelujah (Light Has Come)"

http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=47fdae80a4ef27677ecc

Hallelujah. We've been found. A child is born to save us now.

things i know at the age of 36

2009-11-20T14:39:00.002-06:00

today is my birthday. i'm 36 and this is what i know...

1. contentment can't be found at a place, through a purchase or escape, or in another person. it is only found in a relationship with the One who died in my stead and loves me relentlessly

2. i have the coolest husband and kids on planet earth

3. a smile can easily be brought to my face via the following things: a Japanese Teriyaki Bowl from Pei Wei, a cute pair of ballet flats, an hour to kill at Sephora, J. Crew boot cut jeans, and a DVR loaded with my favorite shows.

4. David Crowder Band is right..."If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking."

5. i daily get a crash course on love from two little guys that have been entrusted to me...one with my mother's big brown eyes, the other with green that mirror mine...

6. i have friends who are sisters of my heart, and i don't know how i ended up with them (see #4)

7. the husband God gave me is my own personal Edward Cullen.;) he still makes my stomach flip and his love astounds me (again, see #4)

8. words amaze me. i love playing with them and using them to show the world who i am

9. i use way too many of these "..." but when you have your own blog, you can do things like that...right?

10. you can never have too many songs in your iTunes library, never.

11. my sisters and brother are truly awesome human beings...i love the memories i have of them from growing up and i look forward to making more

12. a "spic and span house" and having all the laundry done are highly overrated

13. life really is fun. i didn't enjoy it much at the time in life when you're supposed to be carefree...i am making up for lost time

and one more, for good measure...

14. Jesus really does love this chick, and not only that, He actually likes me too.

Parental Guidance

2009-11-08T13:20:00.006-06:00

My boys packed their own lunches last Friday. When I went to inspect their work...i.e. to make sure they hadn't packed Spiderman lunch boxes full of only Skittles and fruit snacks- I was more than pleased. For one thing, they packed exactly the things I usually pack for them. For another, I found something I didn't expect.

This:

They had written each other notes on their napkins, just like the ones I write and leave for them to find when they open their lunches. Sweet, right?

So besides getting my heart touched by two little guys who spend quite a bit of time fighting, but chose to be loving instead, I learned a quick lesson...

Why did they pack a balanced lunch and leave sweet notes for one another?

Because they've seen me do it. And in a 5 and 8 year old's way of thinking, if mom does it this way, it must be right.

If only I could trust and respond to my Parent like that.

what happens when your kid meets a local celebrity

2009-10-31T08:34:00.005-05:00

So we randomly got to meet Brandon Carter (#76 TTU Offensive Lineman, the one who paints his face up and has an outlandish mohawk and facial piercings) one Saturday...the Saturday he was suspended from a game, to be exact. He was tailgating in the same parking lot as us.

Brandon was very sweet and agreeable to our paparazzi moment. My youngest son was scared of him at first (this guy is GINORMOUS), but after he warmed up

to Brandon, an idea was born. And the idea quickly became an obsession to a little impish 5 year old boy (i.e. it's all we heard about for weeks).

Fast forward to Halloween weekend...

The idea that became an obsession, turned into a reality for Blake

Meet Luke Skywalker and Brandon Carter (I know weird coupling, huh?)

And it was SO worth it... because after we got his hair and makeup done, Blake looked up at me with his big green eyes, and EARNESTLY told me, "This is my dream come true!"

song crush #14

2009-10-26T22:01:00.003-05:00

This one brings me to my knees, and it's not even because it's Christy Nockles (my voice crush).

Mended by Watermark

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/Mended/5634677

When I came across this song, it was to me, like water to parched land. Reminding me of the love and intimate care of my Healer...

You are our healer

and You know what's broken

we're not a mystery to You

mad, sad, thankful

2009-10-23T12:45:00.006-05:00

So I got to work Thursday morning and made my way over to the O.C. (where I office...an outdoor Office Complex) only to find the front door open and blowing in the wind. Long story short, we'd been robbed. All of our computers, and electronics of value had been taken in the night. And the culprits were even crafty enough to dump out all our trash on the floor and use the empty trash cans as handy carrying devices for all their loot. Ingenious, huh?

As we inspected the building, I instantly became tearful. I was very tearful and became ugly cry girl.

Later the police came to check out the "crime scene," and as we re-inspected everything, I became mad. Completely indignant really. Who robs a church!?! It felt so wrong, and wrong at SO many levels. In my anger I became revenge-y...I wanted to find someone and make them pay dearly.

The natural response to what happened is certainly anger. But I must admit that once I got the mad all out of me, I simply became sad. Not teary (ugly cry) sad anymore, but soul-sad. Sad for what we'd lost, b/c a lot of our ministry was on those hard drives. But even more sad, really, that there are people out there in such a desperate situation that they resort to stealing.

And so far, I've stayed in that sad place, and strangely where I've also landed with the whole ordeal is in a posture of complete gratitude. Gratitude for God's grace, because but for His grace, I know I am but a decision or two away from base, vile behavior myself. Gratitude for his patience, and that when I do veer off, He never fails to rein me back in. And gratitude for a life changing Love that He pours into me daily. A Love so strong I am saved from myself and a Love so complete it has captured my devotion...

I am thankful because I fully know it is only because of my Jesus that I'm not the one cramming stuff in a trash can and making off with it in the night.

the 90%

2009-10-22T08:21:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking about the year I gave my life to Christ. 17 years old, in a very dark place of loss and loneliness. When I turned my face to him and Who he is clicked in my little brain and heart, I was TRULY saved, rescued, redeemed. And because I was so desperate for the very things that HE is, I found myself unashamedly in love with my Jesus. There wasn't a thing I wouldn't do to know Him more...not a thing I wouldn't give up to be closer still.

So here I am, 18 years later, looking at my life and recognizing how routine, and mundane I can make my relationship with Christ. And I realize that even though I am not in that dark place these days, I am NO LESS desperate for my Jesus than I was those many years ago. Yet I don't live desperate for him. I acknowledge him as a breath of fresh air, rather than as air itself. I love him, but am I in love with him?

A friend of mine once said that 5% of life is the very bad stuff, 5% is the highest of highs, and 90% of life is everything in between. I would say that statement is accurate for what I know life to be thus far, and it is in that 90% that I tend to neglect my Jesus the most. Pathetic but true.

So today, I pray I will live desperate for Him. I pray I will know He is the air I breath. And I pray it won't take the 5% on either end of the spectrum for these things to happen...

top 6 of U2 concert

2009-10-13T15:55:00.009-05:00

So after work Monday I hopped a plane, flew to Dallas, and found myself at the U2 concert that night, a bit bleary eyed, and most definitely wide-eyed. The experience was COMPLETE awesomeness, simply because U2 is complete awesomeness in general. But I've also compiled my top 6 other reasons why the night rocked my world(in no particular order):

1) I got to see the inside of the new Dallas Cowboys Stadium. One word: HUGE. Another word: ginormous. I can now say that I know what 100,000 people in one space, breathing the same air, officially looks like.

2) I bought cool concert T-shirts for me and the hubs. I've never owned one before, and I will probably be too old to rock mine for too much longer...but the coolest part is that I will bequeath mine to my boys someday, and they will have the COOLEST vintage concert tee ever!

3) When buying said concert tees, I watched my friend Jen get shoved out of the way, by a super rude, incorrigible lady. It was one of those seriously? and really? kind of moments. BUT as Jen and I steeped in our indignant righteousness, it's like God quietly reminded me of a quote by Bill Hybels: you'll never lock eyes with someone who doesn't deeply matter to God. And to God, I was all seriously? and really?. And it's like He said, "yep." So I whispered the quote to Jen, and we were both humbled, and then we saw rude, incorrigible lady with new eyes. So there's your proof...God is at rock concerts :)

4) I was one of those girls. Jen and I stood for most of the concert, whilst those behind us sat (until they were forced to stand b/c of those girls, AKA Jen and Mindy.) But seriously, please explain to me how ANYONE sits still when they hear the opening chords of "Where the Streets Have No Name," or "Mysterious Ways," or "Vertigo?" Plus, if you want to sit, go to a movie or a play, and NOT a concert, right?

5) Bono sang "Amazing Grace." And it was a worshipful moment. Certainly didn't expect to feel moved that way in a setting or venue such as that, but I was...

and finally 6) I got to do #1-5 with two of my best friends, who know me well and love me anyway. Thanks Jen and Doug.

And P.S. Doug....loved the way you proudly donned the Bono sunglasses all night. Only you could pull that off!

song crush #13

2009-10-10T08:01:00.002-05:00

Barlow Girl...sigh. These sisters are AMAZINGLY talented. I have a total crush on their voices, thus also on every song they come out with. Probably more importantly, I adore their lyrics. I feel like they are REAL people journeying along with a Holy God, just working out their faith, and their lyrics reflect it.

Check out their latest..."Beautiful Ending." This is an acoustic version, which shows their awesomeness. Be sure to listen to the "full" cut too if you can. It's stellar in a whole different way!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gadNqdMv-4A&feature=related

I Saw Love

2009-10-05T14:04:00.004-05:00

I saw love the other day.

While waiting for my order at Sonic, my eyes couldn't help but be drawn to the car next to me. In it sat an elderly couple, and the woman in the passenger seat had a violent tremor to both of her hands. It was so drastic, she couldn't still them, and in order for her to eat her food and drink her coke, her husband had to feed her.

I tried not to stare as this couple worked together to achieve something we all take for granted, but I felt I was witnessing something sacred and special. I knew I was, for lack of a better description, seeing love.

My mind began to churn out thoughts, while my heart poured out emotions. Anger...at neurological diseases that rob of us the simple things. Humility...at a display of love so pure and unselfish I'll never forget it. Outrage...that this precious lady, whose hands have probably prepared thousands of meals, and bandaged hundreds of "boo boos," now betray her so. And sadness...that she has no choice but to allow her husband to serve her in this way; and I know if it were me in her shoes, that would kill me.

This much I know. I was moved; changed by what I saw. We may hear the word love thrown around everyday, in some form or fashion. But it's not everyday you get to see it fleshed out--living and breathing--the way I did.

I am thankful that a love, that is clearly as much a matter of choice, as it is anything else, exists. I thank God that He let me observe such a tender scene; to let me be a fly on the wall where I had no right to actually be. And I thank Him, that through a husband's devotion to his ailing bride, I got to see a glimpse of God's character, the author of Love himself.

I saw love the other day...

song crush #12

2009-09-11T20:57:00.004-05:00

This song kills me. First of all, I have an instrument crush on cellos in general. The sound is almost haunting to me, but in the very best of ways. Then you add in the brilliance that is Yo Yo Ma, and the complete awesomeness of James Taylor...how can you NOT get chills? Enjoy...

Here Comes the Sun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbMCjuHsT7A

I am old

2009-09-11T20:40:00.003-05:00

(This is a short one.)

I am old. Wanna know how I know that?

Today I was with my two dear friends (who are my age-ish).

We were shopping at Forever 21...

for a costume.

any questions?

in their element

2009-09-06T09:12:00.005-05:00

We got our family pictures made this Friday. A local photog, and church friend of ours, took the pics. She's one of these insanely talented people...a like-able/tangible version of Martha Stewart. The kind of gal who can do just about anything, except maybe welding, which very well may be her next endeavor. Yet, of all her talents, I think photography is probably her "sweet spot." You can just tell when she's behind the lens, something special is happening. And what I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall of her mind...to be able to view the world through her artistic mind. Laura is in her element with a lens to her eye and a world beckoning to be captured at just the right moment in just the right way.

So then the next day, our little family embarked on a long awaited moment...our first Texas Tech tailgate ever. This is something that has been in the making for awhile. An idea of my hubs, that he approached me with several months ago...So, what would you think about getting a tailgate spot for the Tech home games? Of course, the first thing practical Mindy thought about when said tailgate was mentioned, was dollar signs and the sands of the hour glass slipping through my fingers. Yet, there was so much more to Mark's request, and I knew it. You see, my hubs is a social creature who thrives around people. He loves entertaining. He loves hosting. He loves doing life side by side with other folks. This dream tailgate of his, was his chance to dig in and love on people. A chance to make a day special and to "mark the moment." So yesterday as we cooked, and laughed and soaked in the energy around campus, I watched my sweet Mark, completely in his element. It was beautiful to me. And worth every penny, as well the loss of my time (which I can hoard so ferociously.)

I find that there is something completely significant about seeing someone in their element. It's like I'm getting an all-access sneak peak of how God wired that person; how he made them and hand-crafted them. He gave Laura her keen and perceptive eye. He gave Mark his love of people, and desire to include and put at ease. So even if taking photos or hosting a pre-game tailgate aren't inherently spiritual pursuits, per say, God was present in each. Of this much I am sure.

song crush #11

2009-08-26T08:24:00.002-05:00

My boys and I have decided we are going to play this song every morning before we leave for school.

"Happy Day" (this version is Tim Hughes, there are a lot of versions of it...Chris Tomlin, Fee)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAq_CVciNSs&feature=related

Reaping

2009-08-26T08:04:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking about something lately. There are a large amount of adults out there that don't get the concept of "you reap what you sew." Or some may call it karma. My mom used to say, "what comes around goes around." It's the idea that everything we do has a consequence. Every action produces a ripple. We simply don't live in a vacuum, and no matter what, out choices will affect someone else.

Yet it seems like the goal sometimes is to escape the consequences. To stick our heads in the sand and simply not look at the ripple effect we've set into motion.

As I parent, there is an innate drive in me to protect my little guys like the proverbial momma bear. But I must be mindful in that posture of protection, not to allow my little ones to avoid the consequences of what they do. I can't go in and be the "fixer." I can't barge in and "make something just go away." Certainly, as they are 5 and 7, they don't face very staggering consequences, but how will I act when they are teens and something they do threatens our family reputation...happens in a very public eye, or ends up tarnishing the dreaded (and almost urban mythical) permanent record? Will I be able to step back and let the reaping occur???

I think the best thing I could do for my kids is to let them live in their choices and in the subsequent consequence. But it doesn't end there for me. The next step, the most important step, is to point them to their God, who is perfectly just, AND perfectly loving.

He loves us through our mistakes. He restores us in our mistakes. And he never wastes our mistakes...

What I know, because I've had some practice, is that in those times I've made dumb, destructive choices...he gently, lovingly humbles me to repentance. He moves me to learn something I've otherwise wouldn't have, and then he uses me in someone else's life in some form or fashion. And in the end, I know my God in a better, more intimate way, and a new facet of Him is revealed to me.

Why would I ever want my kids to miss out on something like that???

Gaze

2009-08-09T14:35:00.006-05:00

My pastor shared the quote below with us at church today, in his opening message for a series called "Refocus." The quote came from a very wise man, Dave Busby, who spent his life ministering to teens, all the while suffering from Cystic Fibrosis and a myriad of other serious medical conditions. He went to be with the Lord several years ago, but clearly left behind a legacy that still touches us today.

His sentiment hit me like a ton 10 tons of bricks this morning.

It's just so true. So simple, yet poignant. So wise, yet uncomplicated.

Simply put, for me, gazing at God is what it means to abide in Christ.

To choose Him, is to rest my eyes on Jesus, above all else.

The entire message today challenged me in the very best possible way. It made me do some self-examination and I'm pretty sure I have a new question to pose to myself when I'm feeling overwhelmed, depressed, bitter and distraught. Heck, I want to ask myself this question in those bad times, but also in the good...

"Where has my gaze landed???"

song crush #10

2009-08-06T07:25:00.002-05:00

Why I love this song?

#1 because if God said I could pick anyone's singing voice and make it my own, Christy Nockels's would be the one I'd pick in a heartbeat

#2 sometimes getting back to the basics is what it's all about. The gist of this song: Jesus Loves Me.

If I really lived in, grew in and thrived in that truth, I wouldn't make half my stupid mistakes, half my destructive choices, suffer through half my "depressive" moments, or fall so easily when the world beats me down...I'm just saying.

Enjoy this awesome song. (When you open link, just find the black square at right of page and click the play button.)

http://www.last.fm/music/Christy+Nockels/_/Song+Of+The+Beautiful

Big (short-lived) Dreams

2009-08-01T10:37:00.006-05:00

If you read this blog, PLEASE comment on this one. It will be fun, I promise.

One of my fav things to do is reminisce about times past. I saw a movie preview the other day for the remake of Fame (can I just say "wow") and it gave me a chance to do just that...

I was a HUGE Fame buff as a kid. Loved the movie, and then the TV show. I was set and determined (I REALLY believed I could) to attend the School for the Performing Arts in NY and hang with Coco and Leroy every day...even though I had NO SKILL, ART, or TALENT to speak of.

Then came my Space Camp phase. The movie rocked my world, and my little heart dreamt of attending the actual camp with Leah Thompson and the gang, and becoming an astronaut; even though the closest I came to ever being interested in such things was my "Meterology Phase" (with my buddy Kyle) circa 1982 (which consisted of checking out books from the library and looking at clouds A LOT).

Enter Mary Lou Retton. She was my hero, and I'm sure many of you can say the same. I made my own "balance beam" that consisted of a piece of tape on the floor and "trained" to become the next great American gymnast, even though I was terrified of heights and of being upside down.

So the question is...what did you dream of being as a kid and what inspired those dreams??? (like I said, I am begging for your participation)

A Pool Full of Heads

2009-07-31T08:06:00.005-05:00

This summer my fam turned a corner...both boys can swim, and though they still require the "mommy hawkeye," going to the pool is a much more chillaxed experience. I pretty much sit in a deck chair (I am the weird old lady in the shade) with a book or magazine. I read one paragraph, find my kids, read one paragraph, find my kids, and so on... And the weirdest thing happens every time I do "surveillance." My eyes lock in on their little blonde heads immediately, and my heart feels full and I almost sigh out loud. I know the shape of their noggins, the shade the water turns their hair, the line of their necks and the curve of their shoulders. Even in a pool full of heads, theirs are the ones I see.

I wondered one day if every mommy/daddy there feels the same way and experiences the same phenomenon? I'm pretty sure they do, and I'm pretty sure it's all a part of that beautiful, intense, almost mysterious parent-child bond.

Maybe what I experience at the pool everyday is just a glimpse of God's love for and intimacy with his children...with me? When he looks at the proverbial pool for full of people (and it's a LOT bigger pool), He knows each head (my head), and His heart feels full upon the sight of each of His children (of me), and maybe He even audibly sighs?

childlike faith

2009-07-20T22:33:00.002-05:00

my son luke got baptized this weekend. it was something he thought long and hard about and something he felt compelled to do, so that (in his own words)..."others will know Jesus is in my heart and that he died on the Cross for my sins and rose 3 days later."

obviously, i am super proud of him, and also quite thankful that i get to see faith---something i can so easily complicate---through the eyes of a child.

Taking Root

2009-07-10T08:58:00.005-05:00

A good friend of mine went to family camp last week and had none other then Gary Smalley as her keynote speaker. Needless to say, she left inspired and with a pocketful of gems to marinate on long after camp was over.

One thing she shared with me that Mr. Smalley shared with them, was the idea of mediating on a piece of Scripture for a long period, such a two weeks. Truly letting the chosen text sink in deep and take root.

This resonated with me, as I have trouble memorizing Scripture, and also because I tend to try to "drink from a fire hose" if you will, and get in over my head. The concept of taking a small piece of His Truth and giving myself time to assimilate it into the very deep parts of me was almost revolutionary (even though it's truly quite simple).

From Mark 9, a conversation between Christ and a father whose son is in dire need of Jesus's touch (I encourage you to look it up and get the full context for sure):

22 “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

23 ” ‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.”

24 Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

So that's what I am going to spend some quality time with. I am going to ponder it, pray it and wrestle with it. It's always been one of my favs and it is exactly where I am right now in several areas of my life...

I can't wait to see the way God nestles this into my heart...

retro song crush

2009-07-09T18:22:00.006-05:00

Who can resist some good Pat Benatar? Her voice is AMAZING. The video I've posted is actually from this month. The woman still has it!

I LOVE this song and always have. Very fond memories of singing my heart out to it as a young girl in my room, and feeling it deep. Then there's the memory of actually performing it with my good friend Ashley in High School...our harmonies rocked, we were in the zone and again, we felt it deep :).

If only I could get a hold of my friend Lisa's jumpsuit from the '80's (you know the one), I could totally channel Pat today. Afterall, I've totally got the hair for it. Maybe another time and another post?

So enjoy and never forget...we belong to the light, we belong to the sound of the thunder...whatever that actually means.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKzkYHDOYSA

song crush #9

2009-06-25T12:49:00.004-05:00

check out this link... LOVE STORY meets VIVA LA VIDA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v3d6SFcDys

this guy is an awesome composer/pianist who composed the song in the link (Taylor Swift + Cold Play = awesomeness) for his little girl. Check out his web site too... http://www.jonschmidt.com

he has a song called "Pachebel meets U2", in which he mixes

Pachebel's Canon (my personal Pavlov's bell...reduces me to tears by the third note NO MATTER when or where I hear it) and U2's "With or Without You" (arguably one of the best songs ever made).